25 reasons I owe my mother

kelack

kelack

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Kelly
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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
' Because I said so, that's why.'

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the shops with me.'

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

7. My mother taught me IRONY
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!'

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do.'

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until we get home.'

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to stay that way.'

19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'

20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS .
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.
 
What makes me chuckle about this is how everybody who hasn't got kids says 'I'd never say that sort of thing to a child of mine'

and how everybody who has got kids says

'Oh my God, that sounds just like me' :D:D:D

My favourite is 'because I say so'. I was adamant that I'd NEVER, ever, in a million years say that to my kids - but of course I found out that sometimes it is the ONLY answer to some questions they ask. :rules::lol:
 
jeangenie said:
My favourite is 'because I say so'. I was adamant that I'd NEVER, ever, in a million years say that to my kids - but of course I found out that sometimes it is the ONLY answer to some questions they ask. :rules::lol:
Click to expand...


How very true, swore blind I would never use that one.:bang:
 
jeangenie said:
My favourite is 'because I say so'. I was adamant that I'd NEVER, ever, in a million years say that to my kids - but of course I found out that sometimes it is the ONLY answer to some questions they ask. :rules::lol:
Click to expand...

My son, now 19 and at University said to be "But that's just not a straight answer, you must give me a suitable reason why...."

I had to educate him, you see it's not a democracy, if I say "No", then that's it. It's my house, he doesn't pay rent and until he does, he has no say in what can, and cannot go on within the confines of "my property".

I think he understands now. :lol:

Steve
 
Jelster said:
My son, now 19 and at University said to be "But that's just not a straight answer, you must give me a suitable reason why...."

I had to educate him, you see it's not a democracy, if I say "No", then that's it. It's my house, he doesn't pay rent and until he does, he has no say in what can, and cannot go on within the confines of "my property".

I think he understands now. :lol:

Steve
Click to expand...

Ah but this infers when he does pay rent he will have a say ... Dangerous :eek:
 
Jelster said:
My son, now 19 and at University said to be "But that's just not a straight answer, you must give me a suitable reason why...."
Click to expand...

I'd ask him to prove in what way 'because I say so' is NOT a straight answer. It means my word is final, there's no retrial and no rights of appeal. :rules: oh and 'House Rules' reign supreme.
:D
 
"Because I am God in this house" :D

or just "Because" (Always winds em up that one)
 
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