15 minutes solid it looked at this

Complete load of tosh. You can't say that for any person who does not have children, it's just totally unfounded.
 
Tori said:
Complete load of tosh. You can't say that for any person who does not have children, it's just totally unfounded.
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...and rather belittles anyone that works with children who isn't a parent. I know several who probably spend more time with the children than the parents.
 
Tori said:
Complete load of tosh. You can't say that for any person who does not have children, it's just totally unfounded.
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how so?

a parent knows life before and after children. someone without children will never know until they have children.

simple.
 
Again, complete rubbish! So you're saying a foster parent or an adopted parent knows nothing of caring for children? Step parents...grandparents etc etc?

You do spout a load of rubbish. Some parents I'm sure care alot less for their children than some folk who can't have children.
 
Tori said:
Again, complete rubbish! So you're saying a foster parent or an adopted parent knows nothing of caring for children? Step parents...grandparents etc etc?

You do spout a load of rubbish. Some parents I'm sure care alot less for their children than some folk who can't have children.
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Is that what I'm saying? a foster parent or adopted parent doesn't know how to care for a child? Not sure where you got that from. Who said it was about how to care for a child?

I'm saying that an adopted or foster parent does not have the same bond as if it is YOUR child. Thats just the way it is. I wouldn't expect anyone who didn't have children to understand that so I won't try to convince you, I would have argued with me before I had children too. You won't know unless you have had kids.

Some parents care less about their kids, sure do. But someone who has the strongest bond possible with an adopted or fostered child - if that child were their own it would be something different.
 
That's your experience Joe, but many other people have different life experiences. All I'm saying is that I've seen great people who work with children and some awful parents (and vice versa).

P.S. Tori - I think Grandparents may have had children once :D
 
Byker28i said:
All I'm saying is that I've seen great people who work with children and some awful parents (and vice versa).
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Nothing I have said disagrees with this statement.

You can't argue with this fact though:

Unless you have actually had kids, how can you know if you would have a stronger bond with your own child than someone else's child?
 
Care was maybe the wrong word. Bond maybe better. I'd like to see you argue your point with a parent with an adopted child. I'm sure they'd argue their bond is just as strong.

Grandparents may not be parents themselves if they have adopted children.
 
This isn't about who can care for kids, or who can't... it's not even about who feels it the most when they see a photo like the one posted here, so why bother arguing over it? What's the point? The fact is, Tori obviously works with kids and feels a bond with them. And nobody can say (or even has the right to say) whether that bond is real or not other than the kids and Tori... She clearly loves the kids she works with, and that should be enough. So why argue the toss over it?

Isn't this thread about the emotional impact of a photo taken a few years ago of a soldier trying his damndest to rescue a completely unrelated little girl who got caught up in a war zone?
 
It's the difference between sympathy and empathy. I've never lost a parent, but I know people who have, and have seen their grief, but I've not lived through it like they have. I'm not doubting peoples abilities to be touched by the photo, just that your comprehension of it is likely to be different if you have a child of your own. I certainly look at things like this differently than before i had a child, as do others who have posted. We're not better than those who don't have children, we're just looking at it from a different perspective.
 
I don't buy into this hierarchy of empathy depending on if you have children or not. It seems a rather sloppy, and lazy generalization.

On the photo, it isn't iconic, but it does serve to remind us why we are involved there.
 
Tori said:
Care was maybe the wrong word. Bond maybe better. I'd like to see you argue your point with a parent with an adopted child. I'm sure they'd argue their bond is just as strong.

Grandparents may not be parents themselves if they have adopted children.
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Like I said, I don't expect you to understand as you aren't a parent. You can't know what a bond between a parent and child is until you have one.

Let's agree to disagree and then if you ever become one you can come back and tell me if i was wrong or right. :thumbs:
 
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viewfromthenorth said:
It's the difference between sympathy and empathy. I've never lost a parent, but I know people who have, and have seen their grief, but I've not lived through it like they have. I'm not doubting peoples abilities to be touched by the photo, just that your comprehension of it is likely to be different if you have a child of your own. I certainly look at things like this differently than before i had a child, as do others who have posted. We're not better than those who don't have children, we're just looking at it from a different perspective.
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what he/she said

I've never lost a parent either - I have no idea and wouldn't begin to think I could understand what it is like because I knew my friends parent really well.
 
As a father and a step father, I have three amazing kids, all of whom are on my heartbeat list.
When they cry, I cry, when they laugh, I laugh, and when they ask for money, I wince, regardless of genetics.

As to the original photo, I'm not ashamed to say it brought tears to my eyes.
 
Lol, it's highly unlikely I'll have children. Clearly if you've lost premature children or miscarried your opinion still stands does it?
 
Catdaddy said:
This isn't about who can care for kids, or who can't... it's not even about who feels it the most when they see a photo like the one posted here, so why bother arguing over it? What's the point? The fact is, Tori obviously works with kids and feels a bond with them. And nobody can say (or even has the right to say) whether that bond is real or not other than the kids and Tori... She clearly loves the kids she works with, and that should be enough. So why argue the toss over it?

Isn't this thread about the emotional impact of a photo taken a few years ago of a soldier trying his damndest to rescue a completely unrelated little girl who got caught up in a war zone?
Click to expand...

:clap:
 
Tori said:
Lol, it's highly unlikely I'll have children. Clearly if you've lost premature children or miscarried your opinion still stands does it?
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Are you willing to agree to disagree? Seems silly to keep going round in circles and bringing up all these specifics, it's sidetracking the thread now.

Shall we move on? :thumbs:
 
I'll agree I disagree with you yes.

Moving photo, I feel for the soldier, but more for the parents.
 
Tori said:
Lol, it's highly unlikely I'll have children. Clearly if you've lost premature children or miscarried your opinion still stands does it?
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This is going to sound like an episode of Jeremy Kyle, but... My stepson is my girlfriends adopted son, as she can't have children. My daughter lost her son Jack three years ago, so like a lot of people, I know what loss is like. There's not a day goes by, I don't think about Jack, and count my blessings for my three kids.

All I can discuss is rooted in my own experience, and I would never presume to second guess any one else's feelings, parent or not. I don't see compassion as a competitive sport.
 
All I can say is having been in the position,of being around dead and dying people,I could switch myself of to adults,shut down.

But never with children,I alway felt to much,sometimes I can still see their faces in so much detail :(
 
Tokkelossi said:
I agree that its not iconic to view/look at. However its because you cant see their faces that it gets me. Is he crying? Talking to her? Whats he saying?

She didnt survive and that makes me think of not only the family but the poor trooper. He is faceless and therefore could be any of us. His life has also changed for the worse.

Iconic .... no ..... but it gets a point across ... a hard hitting point. Something none of my photos have ever done. There full of twoddle & glam music rubbish.
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the point in bold is why this pic is brilliant from a togs perspective
 
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