They Are at it Again!!

  • Thread starter Thread starter Yv
  • Start date Start date
simon ess said:
Oh no, that would never do.

All colours are acceptable, as long as they comply to the strict controls implemented by the European Commission of Colour, under the directorate of the Board of Control of Visual Stimulation.

Every shade must meet and exceed the commissions guidelines, as laid out in the 7000 page document, "The European Directive on the Aesthetics of the Environment as applied to domestic and public spaces, with special regard to the commercial exploitation of visual perception."

Section 4
Click to expand...
We need brown loo roll, I've never seen any for some reason...
 
Maybe a marigold come erse-wiper that's robust enough to withstand vindaloo and a subsequent strong detergent bath. I'm visualising a short but effective molded squeegee blade along the thumb for that squeeky clean wipe. Available in primary colours only.:mooning:
 
Surely for a vindapoo you need at least one marigold and one oven glove?
 
All vehicles should get out the way of motorcycles by pulling over as soon as possible.
People who drive at 40mph on straight 60 limit roads should be banned from driving forever.
Super fast broadband should be available everywhere.
The weather forecast should be right at all times.
 
Raptor Mike said:
All vehicles should get out the way of motorcycles by pulling over as soon as possible.
People who drive at 40mph on straight 60 limit roads should be banned from driving forever.
Super fast broadband should be available everywhere.
The weather forecast should be right at all times.
Click to expand...
God had all that on is to do list for day 7,
but as we all know, on the 7th day he rested.

(I'm guessing he took one look at his list and said sod that! )
:D
 
I heard there was a parliamentary investigation into the nationwide consistency of vindaloo, chaired by Lord Ponson of Barnsley.

After 3 years of investigation, the 25 strong team of investigators concluded that there were inconsistencies between Yorkshire, Birmingham and London Vindaloos.

It was recommended that a select committee should be tasked with challenging the providers of vindaloos to explain this failure to comply with recognised national standards.

Sir Ronald McTavish is to lead the committee and is obliged to produce the findings no later than 2017.

Hopefully, the findings will feed into the European Commission research into the control of ethnic based food items invented in Birmingham.
 
Vindaloo is Portugese/Indian rather than Brummie.
 
Safety standards are a bad thing now? Another example of whinging bloody brits complaining about the EU for the sake of it.

Go replace all your kite-marked goods with untested Chinese knock-offs and see how you get on. :facepalm:
 
Ha, a nation should be allowed to be part of the EU and still make all its own laws instead of being forced to brake its own constitution by letting foreign nations makes some laws for it.
 
mid_gen said:
Safety standards are a bad thing now? Another example of whinging bloody brits complaining about the EU for the sake of it.

Go replace all your kite-marked goods with untested Chinese knock-offs and see how you get on. :facepalm:
Click to expand...

:facepalm::facepalm: Double face palm! No, the only people whinging are those that haven't noticed this is meant to be a light hearted thread deliberately posted to counter much of the heavy duty outrage that has proliferated in OOF recently. It isn't here to have a debate on how much control Europe have or where and how standards should be set, it simply a little light entertainment to see how silly WE can all be. Yes, I am sure we can all see why an oven glove would need a kite mark, or even a marigold but that would be missing the point of this particular thread entirely.
 
mid_gen said:
Safety standards are a bad thing now? Another example of whinging bloody brits complaining about the EU for the sake of it.

Go replace all your kite-marked goods with untested Chinese knock-offs and see how you get on. :facepalm:
Click to expand...
On BBC currently there is a castle being constructed using 14th century techniques in France. The only safety wear I have seen is the odd pair of goggles and safety boots. They are person handling huge blocks of stone to great heights etc.

Not seen one hard hat or a single hi viz vest. Interestingly many of the workers are Brits.

Do you believe that it would be possible for the project to be based in England with our slavish adherence to EU legislation?
 
Raptor Mike said:
All vehicles should get out the way of motorcycles by pulling over as soon as possible.
People who drive at 40mph on straight 60 limit roads should be banned from driving forever.
Super fast broadband should be available everywhere.
The weather forecast should be right at all times.
Click to expand...

Yv said:
:facepalm::facepalm: Double face palm! No, the only people whinging are those that haven't noticed this is meant to be a light hearted thread deliberately posted to counter much of the heavy duty outrage that has proliferated in OOF recently. It isn't here to have a debate on how much control Europe have or where and how standards should be set, it simply a little light entertainment to see how silly WE can all be. Yes, I am sure we can all see why an oven glove would need a kite mark, or even a marigold but that would be missing the point of this particular thread entirely.
Click to expand...

Hay, I was being serious :p
 
Apologies. Yv responded whilst I was typing.

They should make a law that we are not permitted to upset anyone ... maybe they already have.
 
Yv said:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/wor...-marigolds-to-rise-because-of-bonkers-EU.html

OK, I could blither on about little men/women in european offices looking for things to regulate, but frankly that just repeats stuff seen all over the internet. So, instead, I issue the good folks of TP a challenge.... we need a list of suggestions to send to Brussels of things that must surely need some kind of regulation :D :naughty:


I would start, but my common sense function has broken it's off switch, so forgive me, I will repair it and come back to you with a few ideas.
Click to expand...

FORUMS
 
All ATMs should say thank you.

PLEASE insert card
Please input number and press enter
Please wait while we take your money

REMOVE CARD

Next customer please
 
I've just been reminded of another, it should be absolutely against the law,
to dress dogs (and cats for that matter)
In "cute" little tutu's, hats scarfes dress's or any other kind of "wear"

*Shudder*
 
  • Like
Reactions: Yv
Cobra said:
I've just been reminded of another, it should be absolutely against the law,
to dress dogs (and cats for that matter)
In "cute" little tutu's, hats scarfes dress's or any other kind of "wear"

*Shudder*
Click to expand...

Have been forced to agree by my Labradoodle complete with sowester and hat
 
Posting "Outraged" links to Daily Mail / BBC or other sites should be punished by removal of all internet connection.


(It would give the forum hamster a much needed rest)
 
How about a ban on dad dancing?
 
ChasG said:
Have been forced to agree by my Labradoodle complete with sowester and hat
Click to expand...
:rolleyes:
:D
mrgubby said:
(It would give the forum hamster a much needed rest)
Click to expand...
Its OK she reckon's all that peddling is cheaper than a gym,
it keeps her figure nice and trim,
after eating the secret stash of jaffa cakes :)
 
mrgubby said:
Posting "Outraged" links to Daily Mail / BBC or other sites should be punished by removal of all internet connection.


(It would give the forum hamster a much needed rest)
Click to expand...

Softee.

Death....minimum.
 
Yv said:
we need a list of suggestions to send to Brussels of things that must surely need some kind of regulation :D :naughty:
.
Click to expand...

I move that regulation itself be regulated, theres far too muchof it being created willy nilly, we need more rules about their being less rules
 
Raptor Mike said:
All vehicles should get out the way of motorcycles by pulling over as soon as possible.
People who drive at 40mph on straight 60 limit roads should be banned from driving forever.
Super fast broadband should be available everywhere.
The weather forecast should be right at all times.
Click to expand...

and women should only make logical arguments ? :exit:
 
I want to know if the forum hamster complies with EU directives on fluffiness and cheek pouch capacity.
 
simon ess said:
I want to know if the forum hamster complies with EU directives on fluffiness and cheek pouch capacity.
Click to expand...
Absolutely, fluffy but satisfying.
Cheek( y ) with it too :D
 
Cobra said:
Absolutely, fluffy but satisfying.
Cheek( y ) with it too :D
Click to expand...

I think chris should be regulated from 'satisfying' himself with the forum hamster - the poor thing has enough to do with keeping the server running without having to deal with his base needs as well
 
Back on/off topic.

I apologise for making a serious comment in this thread but Why can't we have our pins back??

Ah these are the pins which have been removed from the petrol pump handles so you can no longer leave the pump to run while you eg clean the windscreen.
On my last continental journey they were all present from Belgium to Poland and back.
 
mid_gen said:
Safety standards are a bad thing now? Another example of whinging bloody brits complaining about the EU for the sake of it. Go replace all your kite-marked goods with untested Chinese knock-offs and see how you get on. :facepalm:
Click to expand...
No no no! EU should ban all safety standards, kitemarks and other laws designed to make us safe. We're raising a nation of softies, life's getting boring and predictable. How about banning headlights on all vehicles one day a week?
 
all cars should have a bomb built into the front bumper which explodes on any impact greater than 30mph - that would slow most of the reckless muppets down and remove those that won't learn. (except my car obviously which should have an unlimited speed limit licence and be armed with 30mmm canon and laws rockets to remove anyone who gets in my way)
 
I have heard it said that the greatest potential car safety item would be a large very sharp spike pointing from the steering wheel at the driver - cheaper than an airbag too
 
I thought that was a Ralph Nader suggestion but on googling spike steering wheel, it appears to have been a Gordon Tullock who incidentally died earlier this month.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top