The best one-liner?

Hot tip of the day #3 : Dick Turpin...before he dicks you.
 
I bought a sat nav with Bonnie Tylers voice on it.
Never again!
It keeps telling me to "turn around" and every now and again it falls apart.
 
I thought someone was stealing my black Sabbath collection ... then I realised it was just paranoid
 
What do you get if you mix human DNA with goat DNA?
Banned from the petting zoo.
 
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at you X and wondered Y?
 
Accidentally pooed myself whilst I was in a lift. I take this S**t to w whole new level!
 
Its 'Jamaican Hairstyle Day' at work tomorrow. Im dreading it...

:exit:
 
What goes "clip-clop, clip-clop, BANG BANG!?
An Amish drive-by shooting.
 
crime in multi storey car parks - its wrong on more than one level
 
Walked into a studio a few months back and the psycho photographer threw 2 softboxes, a set of barn doors and a large gold reflector at me...im still having flashbacks now...

:coat:
 
Nikon_Nick said:
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at you X and wondered Y?
Click to expand...

mariage is like a game of cards , at the start you have a pair of hearts and a diamond , by the end all you want is a club and a spade
 
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt . Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche...
 
A man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" He says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"
 
I was told off today at the local leisure centre for peeing in the swimming pool. I was a little embarrassed and the life guard shouted at me so loudly that I nearly fell in.


An alleged deathbed comment by Voltaire - Asked by a priest if he would renounce Satan, Voltaire replied, "Now is not the time for making new enemies."


Dave
 
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