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- The real Chris
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As a few of you know I am a pest control manager / consultant for an "independent" company
I like my job you get to meet all types of people its different every / most days, anyhow,
Today I was doing a little job and the lady of the house called out of the window,
"please knock when you have finished I have a little something for you".
I duly knocked a few minutes later and she opened the door in what can only be described as a very scanty nightdress
( funny place to have a door I thought
)
......... read on...........
"come in" she said and started to remove her clothes.
"Hang on a minute" I said, "what on earth will your husband think?"
"Oh don't worry" she said "this is his idea"
Huh? I must have looked really confused at this point as she went on to explain,
" we were discussing Christmas tips last night, and he said"
" A fiver for the postman, a couple of quid for the paperboy and f'k the pestie"
God I love my job!
Enough of my problems,
The reason you are reading this is for the seasonal joke so here it is.........................
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for is annual trip,
but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick,
and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones
so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth
and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink.
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door.
He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day?
I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Merry Christmas to all
I like my job you get to meet all types of people its different every / most days, anyhow,
Today I was doing a little job and the lady of the house called out of the window,
"please knock when you have finished I have a little something for you".
I duly knocked a few minutes later and she opened the door in what can only be described as a very scanty nightdress
( funny place to have a door I thought
)......... read on...........
"come in" she said and started to remove her clothes.
"Hang on a minute" I said, "what on earth will your husband think?"
"Oh don't worry" she said "this is his idea"
Huh? I must have looked really confused at this point as she went on to explain,
" we were discussing Christmas tips last night, and he said"
" A fiver for the postman, a couple of quid for the paperboy and f'k the pestie"
God I love my job!
Enough of my problems,
The reason you are reading this is for the seasonal joke so here it is.........................
One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for is annual trip,
but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick,
and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones
so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth
and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.
Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum.
When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink.
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door.
He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day?
I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Merry Christmas to all
