Rant about my kids school !!!!

northernstar074

northernstar074

Suspended / Banned
Messages
203
Name
Anthony
Edit My Images
Yes
Hey all

I don't know if this is me being over sensitive or the school are wrong !!!

My ex and me split last year and have 3 kids together. She met someone else a year ago.

Now all 3 kids go to the same school. My youngest was ill on Monday and the school tried to phone my ex but couldn't get an answer. Now in all 3 of the kids files at school it has 3 emergency numbers - my ex, me and her dad.

As I say they tried to call my ex and couldn't get hold of her so her ex stepmum works in the school interfered and gave them her boyfriends number and told them to phone her him !!!!

I was livid !!!!! The school have three numbers to phone if there is a problem with the kids ! Not once did they try to phone me once they couldn't get hold of my ex.

I am contemplating making a complaint to the school but was looking for other opinions as with the whole ex situation I don't know if I am furious about nothing :S
 
I wouldn't think it should matter a hoot regarding your personal marital position but I don't think any school has the right to phone any number other than those supplied on the 'official' list.

I'd be spitting feathers
 
Not sure I'm understanding all the relationships but it sounds as though it was the kids grandmother who stepped in and gave an alternative number. I get your frustration and would be just as disappointed as you had it been my kids but you have to understand from their point of view it was pretty helpful of her to provide an alternative number. Either way I think I'd still call and politely ask why no effort was made to contact you as one of the emergency contacts.

And if all else fails you could always climb onto the school roof in a superman costume :lol:
 
Thanks Jim. I thought that as a list of numbers was provided it was the job of the school to phone the numbers in order of that list in an emergency.

It is, in effect, the kids grandmother although she is divorced from my ex's dad. She may have had good intentions but I think she has overstep the mark by giving the school a number to call that she had no permission to give out and is not on the list of emergency numbers.

Right Superman costume to the ready it is !!!!!
 
I know that we are in similar situation and the school has a few numbers to call in this order

My Mrs
Me (step dad)
Father
Childminder

In that order, but we did discuss it with the father first because of his job at the time(police officer) it was easier the way sugested.

I would phone the school and make a complaint as to what happend, and let them know in future that it should be as list unless it gets changed.



spike
 
I agree Spike. The school has a list of contact numbers for the precise reason.

I was more furious I think because if it was a really serious emergency as oppose to my daughter feeling ill and needing to be picked up .... if I wasn't called and something happened to any of my kids .. how would the school justify that ?
 
I don't know the ages of the kids, but at my girls primary school there is a list of people auth to collect the kids - is he on that?

Definately complain, the grandma had no right to interfer, and IMO should face some kind of disciplinary. If they had tried all numbers, to no avail, then they should have kept her at school until someone authorised to collect her in an emergency was contacted.
 
Hi Lawrie

My kids are 6, 7 and 9 and all at primary school. We dont have a list of people with authourity to collect the kids but my ex was pregnant for most of this year so she told the teachers that her bf would be picking the kids up sometimes.

I thought that the school must be in breach of its own policy at the very least. I will try and find out what they said to her bf when they phoned him beacuse if they then disclosed that my youngest was ill and needed collecting then that makes the whole situation worse.

Even if they had advised him that they needed to speak to my ex - whilst not too bad they should have still phoned me once they couldn't get hold of the first emergency contact.
 
northernstar074 said:
It is, in effect, the kids grandmother although she is divorced from my ex's dad. She may have had good intentions but I think she has overstep the mark by giving the school a number to call that she had no permission to give out and is not on the list of emergency numbers.
Click to expand...
You're quite right. But she probably thought she was doing everyone a favour. It is clearly the school who are at fault and it is them you should have a pop at.
 
She probably did think she was doing them a favour but she has given out a phone number that she had no right to and the school should have stuck to their list of emergency numbers until they could contact one of us on the list.

That fact that I am the 2nd on the list and they didnt even try to contact me as the childs dad but rather phone someone who is no relative of theirs at all is infuriating !! As I said previously what would have happened if something serious had happened ?
 
Probably best to do a low key re-stating of your requirements with the school - will hopefully keep good relations with the school and limit any hassle for your kids.
 
Hi

I'm a former Chair of Governors at a Primary School - ask to speak to the Headteacher as he/she may not be aware - the school is most certainly outside process by contacting someone not agreed beforehand. These processes are put in place to assure child safety.

All the best
 
Last edited:
Hi i am governor at a school where my wife works, i see this situation as follows

child ill school phone first on list, grandmother works at school gets to here, gives them another number to ring before they work down the list, my wife is usually the ringer to parent, sometimes on her own so in between rings reassures pupal that they will get hold of someone soon, phone rings:eek: blar blar blar.

but they would not ignore a grandparent who offers a solution right there and then.

as for the school being outside process, most schools work on a wing and a prayer, with a good dose of common sense well ours dose.

try to get a straight story of how it all came about
 
Last edited:
gramps said:
Probably best to do a low key re-stating of your requirements with the school - will hopefully keep good relations with the school and limit any hassle for your kids.
Click to expand...


they phone 999 not the parent first.
 
Andy's advice sounds best to me
 
sometimes schools scare the hell out of me

walked into one reception recently -
no taxi company ID on my person
no Council Badge slung round my neck
a teacher said 'oh - are you here for Linda ****
yes i said , and took the 8yo away to the taxi

you can guess where I'm going with this...!

returned to school and made a formal complaint to headmistress ....any use..:shrug:
 
This is the most relevant part.
northernstar074 said:
... her ex stepmum works in the school interfered and gave them her boyfriends number and told them to phone her him ...
Click to expand...
Write a letter to the headteacher explaining that this caused you great distress ... in writing, on record.

My sympathies in your difficult time, just remember : trust nobody!
 
northernstar074 said:
Now in all 3 of the kids files at school it has 3 emergency numbers - my ex, me and her dad.

As I say they tried to call my ex and couldn't get hold of her so her ex stepmum works in the school interfered and gave them her boyfriends number and told them to phone her him !!!!
Click to expand...

The way I see it is that as far as the school is concerned there is probably a reason there are three numbers on the file and none of those are the boyfriends number, otherwise his number would be on the file.

And then for your ex's ex stepmum (the relations are getting further and further away here!) to breach protocol is out of order. How does she know if the boyfriend is still a boyfriend? Maybe they broke up and he's angry? He's NOT blood relative or even relative in law.

I'd be going ape to be honest - first at the stepmum and then at the school.
 
So your ex wife is now with someone that her fathers ex wife has a mobile number for? The whole thing sounds hatefully complicated.

As someone with a hatefully complicated tale of my own, it's my experience that a school will sometimes just align with the resident parent, as it's the path of least resistance for them. A father in your position has very few rights when it comes to his children but being treated equally to mum by the school is one of them. Certainly remind the head of that and make sure you keep a dialogue fresh with them.
 
Someone in the school made the wrong decision.
The reason for procedures is to reduce the number of decisions available so that the wrong decisions are not made, even by people thinking that they are doing the right thing.
Contact the head, explain what happened, check that they have got the correct contact numbers in the correct order and get an assurance that the procedure will be followed in the future.
Do this when your anger has subsided a bit and remember that the head probably does not know what happened and will be as annoyed as you are.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top