Nursery Rhymes

Shane

Suspended / Banned
Messages
585
Name
Shane
Edit My Images
No
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

It's Raining, It's Pouring.
Oh sh * t, it's Global Warming.

Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and everywhere that Mary went
the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had another skirt
'twas split right up the front ...
...But she didn't wear that one often.

Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
'What have u got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon
Pies you d*ckhead.

Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's a*se
and turned its wool to nylon.

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too cause he was gay.

Jack and Jill
went up the hill
to have a little fun.
Jill, the dill,
forgot her pill,
and now they have a son.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white and wispy.
Then it caught Foot and Mouth Disease
And now it's black and crispy.
 
:lol:
 
Mary had a little lamb
She also had a bear
I've often seen her little lamb
I've never seen her bear

Mary had a little lamb
It's foot as black as soot
And everywhere that Mary went
His sooty foot he put
 
Mary had a little lamb
its fleece was very red
the reason for it was you see
it had a pick-axe through it head!
 
Mary had a little lamb
its fleece was very red
the reason for it was you see
it had a pick-axe through it head!

I was just about to post that! :lol: I remember reading it in a rag mag at University back in 95....

I love these, keep em coming!
 
All :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
 
An old one...

Humpty Dumpty sat on the Wall
and an East German Guard shot him!

Hickory Dickory Dock
The mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one, and the others got away with minor injuries

Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner
Eating his curds and wey
He stuck in his thumb, pulled out a plumb
and choked on the stone

... and finally...

Hey Diddle the cat and the fiddle
The cow blew up on the launching pad!!

:)
 
Back
Top