not Ronnie Barker, Archie Campbell - Rindercella

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In memory of a great man, Ronnie Barker. This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger, though god knows how many takes it took. Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much to take in for the serial complainers.
Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms and not laughing as you read. no chance!!

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters. Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards.
One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies.
The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.
He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with afollen swanny.
 
One line.

Thats all I managed, lone wine, lefore baffing.
 
I didn't even make it to the end of the first line.

Excellent, really like that.
 
Although I don't think it was Ronnie Barker.....I think thats way too rude for his work, even read as spoonerisms like that.

Edit : Just found it......It was Archie Campbell


One of Campbell's 'signature' routines was to tell stories in "Spoonerism" form, with the first letters of words in some phrases intentionally switched for comic effect. The best-known of these stories was "RinderCella," his re-telling of the fairy tale "Cinderella", about the girl who "slopped her dripper" (dropped her slipper). Campbell once told the "RinderCella" story on an episode of the game show "Juvenile Jury". At the conclusion of the story, host Jack Barry said "That's one of the funniest stories Carchie Ampbell tells." All of Campbell's spoonerism routines borrowed heavily from comedy routines performed on the radio by Colonel Stoopnagle in the 1930s. ("Colonel Stoopnagle" was the stage name of F. Chase Taylor, 1897-1950.)
Click to expand...

The Story of Rindercella Once apon a time, in a coreign fountry, there lived a very geautiful birl; her name was Rindercella. Now, Rindercella lived with her mugly other and her two sad bisters. And in this same coreign fountry, there was a very prandsom hince.

And this prandsom hince was going to have a bancy fall. And he'd invited people from riles amound, especially the pich reople. Rindercella's mugly other and her two sad blisters went out to buy some drancy fesses to wear to this bancy fall, but Rindercella could not go because all she had to wear were some old rirty dags. Finally, the night of the bancy fall arrived and Rindercella couldn't go. So she just cat down and scried. She was a kitten there a scrien, when all at once there appeard before her, her gairy fodmother. And he touched her with his wagic mand ... and there appeared before her, a cig boach and hix white sorces to take her to the bancy fall. But now she said to Rindercella, "Rindercella, you must be home before nidmight, or I'll purn you into a tumpkin!"

When Rindercella arrived at the bancy fall, the prandsom hince met her at the door because he had been watchin' behind a woden hindow. And Rindercella and the prandsom hince nanced all dight until nidmight...and they lell in fove. And finally, the mid clock strucknight. And Rindercella staced down the rairs, and just as she beached the rottom, she slopped her dripper!

The next day, the prandsom hince went all over the coreign fountry looking for the geautiful birl who had slopped her dripper. Finally he came to Rindercella's house. He tried it on Rendercella's mugly other ... and it fidn't dit. Then he tried it on her two sigly usters ... and it fidn't dit. Then he tried it on Rindercella ... and it fid dit. It was exactly the sight rize!

So they were married and lived heverly ever hapwards. Now, the storal of the mory is this: If you ever go to a bancy fall and want to have a pransom hince loll in fove with you, don't forget to slop your dripper!
Click to expand...
 
I must admit, i'm not convinced it was him, but i could picture him saying it!
 
I was thinking that... there's no way he wouldve dont stuff like that........unless as a live stand up version.
 
It was originally done by Archie Campbell ... but that version was nowhere near as rude as this! :)
 
This was originally shown on BBC TV, back in the seventies.
Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes)

The irony is that the BBC received not one complaint. Must hav been the speed of delivery was too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms as you read;

It was ronnie Barker, here is a link to the whole thing, please be aware you may be offended.

http://www.collinson.fr/Jokepage/rindercella.html
 
No ... that is just someone else SAYING it was Ronnie Barker!

Most of the rudeness in that is quite easily discernable... every word that ends in ucking is quite obvious.........no way would all that go un-noticed. :D

But like i said previously, it may have been done in a live show not televised.
 
There is no way that Ronnie Barker performed that on TV. I remember the sketch and whilst the general theme of it was similar, that was not it. This is just an extension of that sketch that has been doing the rounds for years appearing on numerous forums where such language isn't tolerated unless it is (falsely) attributed to the great man.
 
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