Mart61
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- Martin
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It appears that Parliament has finally recognized the plight of ordinary citizens and is poised to do something about it. Forget tax relief for the middle class, health care or education, this proposed bill addresses the crux of the problem.
"LONDON: - Parliament is considering sweeping legislation which will provide new benefits for many British citizens. The British With No Abilities Act (BWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of British citizens who lack any real skills or ambition.
"Roughly 50 percent of British citizens do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Caroline Flint MP. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing."
In a press conference, The Rt Hon Peter Hain MP, Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, pointed to the success of the Royal Mail, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest employer of Persons of Inability.
Private-sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), photographers (96%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%). At the government level, the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency also has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).
Under the British With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance. Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the BWNA Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?"
"As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Stevens, who lost her position as a wing-nut twister at the Ford plant in Dagenham, due to her lack of any discernible job skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage of this bill, Stevens and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Lord McKenzie of Luton: "As a Lord With No Abilities, I believe the same privileges that officials enjoy ought to be extended to every British citizen with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every British citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation.""
"LONDON: - Parliament is considering sweeping legislation which will provide new benefits for many British citizens. The British With No Abilities Act (BWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of British citizens who lack any real skills or ambition.
"Roughly 50 percent of British citizens do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said Caroline Flint MP. "We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing."
In a press conference, The Rt Hon Peter Hain MP, Secretary of State for Work and Pensions, pointed to the success of the Royal Mail, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack any job skills, making this agency the single largest employer of Persons of Inability.
Private-sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), photographers (96%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement "warehouse" stores (65%). At the government level, the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency also has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).
Under the British With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million "middle man" positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance. Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability into middle-management positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the BWNA Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Non-abled banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?"
"As a Non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Stevens, who lost her position as a wing-nut twister at the Ford plant in Dagenham, due to her lack of any discernible job skills. "This new law should really help people like me." With the passage of this bill, Stevens and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Lord McKenzie of Luton: "As a Lord With No Abilities, I believe the same privileges that officials enjoy ought to be extended to every British citizen with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every British citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation.""
