Kinda depressed *kinda rant*

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LmidgitD

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So my gf and I have been going out for over a year and a couple months. However it's always been the case that I'm the one who always shows affection and decides what we do and she would sometimes add her input, but lately she has stopped showing affection but still hugs me a lot and still makes sure that I know that she loves me by telling me.

The thing is, I do everything that I can for her no matter what but I feel as if I'm not getting anything back from the relationship. I've talked to her about it and her response was that she doesnt really show a lot of affection because that's just her personality but she assure's me that she does in fact love me with all her heart, which I do not doubt whatsoever.

I dont know.... By the way, I'm 19 and she's 17, we live in the states, and winter is just finishing up around here so there's a little more to do.

So I guess why I posted this is to ask this forum: What should I say/think/do? Any special things that you can think that I can do for her (example: picnic beside a river), or just any other thing that you'd like to say.
 
LmidgitD said:
lately she has stopped showing affection but still hugs me a lot and still makes sure that I know that she loves me by telling me.
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Isn't that a contradiction in terms there??

I'd be over the moon if I ever got a hug....... sounds to me like you are on to a winner.

Don't go into it too deeply, you are teenagers,..............enjoy yourselves for the moment.
 
Janice is right. Some people are very tactile, others are not but neither is 'right'. She says she loves you: let it be. Don't try to 'do' so much, just be yourself. You are very young and people change a lot so try not to get too tied up just yet if you are having doubts. Enjoy the moment.:hug:
 
Janice said:
Don't go into it too deeply, you are teenagers,..............enjoy yourselves for the moment.
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Have fun , there is plenty of time to worry about stuff when you're older :thumbs:
 
"Dear Janice" possibly a new forum?

seriously all these peeps are right:thumbs:
 
Well we do have fun... a lot of fun, and actually she's the one that changed my mindset towards marriage and kids. I dont know, I've been trying not to dig too deep into it all but it's just been bugging me lately. Thanks for the kind words folks. :)
 
Sounds to me like your relationship is a lot better than you think it is ;) Don't scare her off, from what you're saying she thinks the world of you :love:
 
Indeed. Don't read too much into it. Some people are touchy feely, some arent. :)
 
Janice said:
Isn't that a contradiction in terms there??

I'd be over the moon if I ever got a hug....... sounds to me like you are on to a winner.

Don't go into it too deeply, you are teenagers,..............enjoy yourselves for the moment.
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Agree completely. Nothing more to be said really. Keep it simple and go with the flow.
 
Agree with what the others have said. Just enjoy yourselves! It sounds as though you are able to talk to each other which is a good thing. People just have different ways of expressing their feelings.
 
19? Time for a new girlfriend methinks, you've got your whole life ahead of you, get out there and spread some lurve. :D
 
LmidgitD said:
The thing is, I do everything that I can for her no matter what but I feel as if I'm not getting anything back from the relationship. I've talked to her about it and her response was that she doesnt really show a lot of affection because that's just her personality but she assure's me that she does in fact love me with all her heart, which I do not doubt whatsoever.
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It sounds very much to me as if your g'friend is getting comfortable with the relationship.
I think when some peeps get to this settled stage they stop 'trying' ... err, no maybe thats the wrong terminology ... I mean things slow down and go at a more sedate pace, and the urgency of displaying emotion that was there before, slowly ebbs.
I guess that's sometimes why your hear peeps say that while they love their partner, they no longer feel the 'spark' between them.
My opinion from what youve said, is that you both need to keep getting out & about, both with and without each other in order for you to both grow individually and together as a couple ...oh & dont stifle what you hold dear.
Good luck.
 
You say she's not showing you affection - then go on to say that she hugs you and says she loves you....what exactly do you define as "showing affection" because I can't help but think there's some more subtext in there somewhere.

Not sure exactly what that subtext might be, but I'll take a guess.......If you're ready to take the relationship on a stage and she's not, then you have two choices, either relax a little, enjoy the good stuff and give her some time, or decide you can't wait and try all over again with someone new.

Question - do YOU love HER? Only you do a lot of talking about her saying she loves you, but you don't mention your own feelings in that respect.
 
No relationship can sustain that initial level of frenzied passion - it's extremely stressful and would probably kill ya eventually. It's quite normal for passions to subside to a more realistic and manageable level. Don't ever confuse sex with love anyway - they're two completely different animals. ;)

Soz - but it sounds like your gf has more idea where it's at than you do. :shrug:


Reeeelax!
 
CT said:
Only if they complain! :shrug:
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How low can you get :( :(


























Oh, about corgi level :D

Relax LmidgitD, you're both young, give each other space to be yourselves and stop searching for the perfect relationship, just let it happen :)
 
I dont confuse sex with love but when i meant that she doesnt show affection anymore I mean that she used to: Run up to me and hug me when I entered a room, she would give me kisses on the cheek for no reason other than she wanted to, and also she used to look at me all day without ever having to say a word. Nowadays none of that happens, but believe me, I'm not in it for "other" things. I am jsut looking for someone tolove me and visa versa.

I do take everything said here to heart and it is all very good information. I guess I jsut dont like the "comfortable" level.
 
Janice said:
Isn't that a contradiction in terms there??

I'd be over the moon if I ever got a hug....... sounds to me like you are on to a winner.

Don't go into it too deeply, you are teenagers,..............enjoy yourselves for the moment.
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*gives you a massive hug*
 
LmidgitD said:
I guess I jsut dont like the "comfortable" level.
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Every relationship evolves, if they don't they can become stagnent and breakdown. If your girlfriend didn't move on and she continued to run up and kiss you or stare at you all day, after a while you would get bored, it will become the norm and you wouldn't appreciate it.

It is difficult at times becuase you see the changes and your not always ready for them, and you want things to be how they were, but relationships aren't always easy, and at times you have to work hard at them to make them work.

Try to relax, be happy and make the most of the love and affection she does show you.

Oh and Janice have a big hug from me :hug:
 
At the end of the day it doesn't matter what anyone on here says. You are better off doing what you think is right for you and you partner. If it works out that's great if not then take it as experience and move on.
 
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