Is marriage dead....?

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nuffink

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Is marriage dead nowadays? In a society where living together is accepted as the norm, without the stigma of living in sin is the necessity for marriage really just a day to get dressed and throw party.....how does it effect chilren really if at all....and does it really give you all the security you think you are going to get (one for the girls :D)

Answers on a postcard....
 
Neither myself nor my partner/boyfriend (whatever you're meant to call them these days) is interested in marriage. I personally don't believe it means anything these days and divorce is too easy.

I couldn't think of anything worse than being dressed up and being the centre of attention for a day. I've seen too many people get married for all the wrong reasons and the wedding cake has probably outlasted the actual marriage. I like to think I have all the security I need without the need for a wedding ring and a piece of paper.
 
Well I have to disagree - It's not dead, otherwise I'll be dead on the 29th September :) Personally I can't wait for my wedding, we have ditched the traditional stuff and have gone for a wedding thet we want. No family, apart from very immediate, just 70 very close mates in a country manor in the middle of wales and some great fun, laughs and drinking.
Why would I not enjoy that ?
 
Mine is, got divorced!:D ..... However, I do like marriage and would do it again. I think it's a wonderful thing to make that commitment to each other, even if you do leg it to the carribean to marry in private! :exit: (there is always a party when you get back!) :beer: :woot: :banana:
 
Depends what is meant by "marriage".

On the one hand there is the formal recognition "allowing" you to be married. IMO that is (rightly) dead, with the exception of the need for any tax breaks etc. The idea that government should give tax breaks to influence such an aspect of how people live their lives is pretty unsavory IMO, but that's another subject...! If you want to be with someone I don't see that it needs any outside "permission", be it state, church or whatever.

On the other hand is the aspect of celebrating what you feel about someone else, and doing so in front of those you care about. To me that is very much alive, but I don't see that it needs to be called marriage. It also certainly needn't be "THE WEDDING" which we are all brain-washed to have at ridiculous expense - that totally misses the point for me. My wife and I had a perfect day, away with close family at a place we loved and just spending time with everyone. Give me a million pounds and I doubt I could have made it better.

I knew a minister, sadly now passed on, who used to say that he felt society had things the wrong way around - it should be harder to get married, and easier to get divorced. Intent being to ensure people know what they want, know what they're committing to, but having done so should not be forced to live with a mistake. I'd tend to agree.

What are others' thoughts and opinions?
 
I was never to worried about getting married and believed it wouldn't make a difference to our relationship, its just a peace of paper at the end of the day.............then I got married and I found our relationship did change for the better, i guess its because I made the biggest promise you will ever make to another person and think that was important to my wife.......and getting a divorce maybe easy but I hope I never break my promise.
 
Anybody who thinks getting a divorce is easy has never done it, particularly if children are involved. :(

No marriage isn't dead and I hope it never is. There are those who like it and those who hate it and long may it be so.

Freedom of choice is the main thing.
 
Well we were shacked up for over 6 years before we tied the knot. I can't say there was any great romantic reason for getting married just that at that time pension schemes and insurance schemes only recognized that bit of paper, so an important consideration.

Things have certainly relaxed, but I still think people will get married to make that commitment, whether they actually go the distance or not.
 
Well we got married just so I could use the term 'The Wife' :D Though we're sort of the odd couple as 'The Wife' is my senior by a considerable margin (though it's not as pronounced as we both age) and I became a (step-)Grandad at 33.
 
unclerichy said:
Well we got married just so I could use the term 'The Wife' :D Though we're sort of the odd couple as 'The Wife' is my senior by a considerable margin (though it's not as pronounced as we both age) and I became a (step-)Grandad at 33.
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I got an older missus too! Older women rock!

Too many people the m-word is more liekly to be a mortgage than a marriage. Research has shown that joint mortgages mean more to many people these days than marriages do. Certainly very interesting. :)
 
On 28 September we'll be celebrating 33 years in chains! :lol:

I wouldn't have changed it for the world. Marriage is a great institution (like Broadmoor) and is an outward expression of a psychological bond. If people don't want it they don't have to have it, but IMO getting married makes you think about whether you have chosen the right partner (and vice versa) and the marriage cements the commitment.

It does worry me that too many people seem more concerned about the wedding than the marriage. Are they just getting married because they fancy a glitzy wedding? Probably not in most cases, but I do wonder if the huge amounts spent on weddings are really necessary - a Registry Office and a reception in the back garden did us fine. :D
 
I dunno about marriage but I think romance must be - my wife proposed by txt message that read "gonna marry me then or what?" ;)
 
silkstone said:
It does worry me that too many people seem more concerned about the wedding than the marriage. Are they just getting married because they fancy a glitzy wedding? Probably not in most cases, but I do wonder if the huge amounts spent on weddings are really necessary - a Registry Office and a reception in the back garden did us fine. :D
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I couldn't agree more Silky, the huge amounts some people spend on weddings is just nuts IMHO. Still - that extends to the photos too so I shouldn't question it really. ;)
 
I think marriage means something different to everyone, for me it is not about the party or "a ring and a bit of paper". For me it is a commitment to your other which says i will be here for you no matter what. I don't really want to bring religion into this discussion but that is also a big factor I think on why people do and don't believe in marriage..

It's true that you don't need to get married to be commited to each other, it is a very personal choice I think.

For my my wife and I, the choice was obvious. :)

Now i'm going to go eat my take away before i get all sentimental. :)
 
Is marriage dead? Hmmm. My wife and I lived together for a time before deciding to get wed, once the decision had been made we made the arrangements at the local registrar and a date was set, on the morning of the wedding I knocked on the door of a mate at 0-700 and asked him and his missus to be witnesses, they agreed, and at 0-1100 we were wed, we told our folks later that day. Cost seven and a tanner for the license, I think it was money well spent, that was 35 years ago, it don’t feel any different getting wed but you get a sense of belonging and commitment and now at sixty (today) I think it’s the right thing to do.
My maternal grandparents had other ideas though they got together in 1914 had two kids, never married and lived long and happy lives. Are well I guess there’s nothing new, although some young uns think they’ve invented the wheel.
 
This thread is certainly very interesting, and maybe I just have a tainted view of marriage. Do you think it makes a difference in how your parents marriage worked?

I've never been married, although I was in a long term relationship for 11 years, and we lived together for 7 of those 11 years. We split up on very amicable terms (and are still very good friends), but it just makes me shudder to think that had we been married, we'd have had to go through a divorce, rather than just going our separate ways.

My mum has been married and divorced twice, and my boyfriend's mum has been married and divorced. Maybe this has a huge impact on how we (as their kids) view marriage :shrug: I'm of the opinion that nothing lasts forever, and marriage is no different. Maybe I'm just old and cynical ;) I'm not saying that people shouldn't get married, these are just my own personal views on marriage!
 
Our licence cost 7/6d too. And the missus keeps reminding me that it was she that paid for it :( I only paid for everything else. And continue so to do :(

Anyone who thinks there is no place for marriage in modern society just doesn't understand the concept.
 
I hope its not dead, but often it dies...mine did. Got married too young [22], to the the wrong person, in a registry office, mainly as an excuse [it felt after] for his family to get very drunk, etc... 8 years later, and divorce was the only option left for several reasons.

I now live with my current bf/partner/bestfriend/[will someone please come up with a word that applies more aptly to live-in partners, over the age of 30, that doesnt sound childish or sterile please] and whilst he has never been married, has been in another long term relationship, neither of us initially were for it. Things are changing though, and maybe one day we wil tie the knot, but if we do, it will for us, not becuase I want a big day [I hate being photographed for a start, and I dont suit big dresses]

Oh, and I have a significantly older man, which is very very good IMO :D :love:
 
I married at 18 to a lovely young lady the same age as me. I was divorced by the time I was 19.
I married again at 22 to a lovely 33 year old woman, I was divorced by the time I was 23 :)
I met my present wonderful woman at 24, she was 27 and we have remained together and raised two strapping young lads in the 25 years we have been together.
As for marriage, well I suppose it means different things to different people but with my luck she thought it better to live in sin :):eek:
I may go down on bended knee at xmas as we are going to Thailand again, without any kids and I could be in for a great wedding night :woot::clap:
I am madly in:love: and hope she accepts my proposal. I aint telling her till we get there.
In fact one of the main reasons we are going is to celebrate a friends 50th, I may aske her then, in fact the two other couples we are meeting there are also long time partners outside of marriage. Who knows, we could have a threesome :nuts:
Thats three marriages :P and a 50th :)
 
Chuckurbarla said:
Anybody who thinks getting a divorce is easy has never done it, particularly if children are involved. :(
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Ouch, that situation is tough.

Just to be clear, the minister's comment was meant from the viewpoint of society and the legal profession rather than the individuals involved. I can imagine that typically it wouldn't be easy for those involved.
 
I'm not sure that marriage makes much difference to the problems of separation, if that happens. AFAIK a 'common law' spouse has much the same rights as a married one, and the trauma faced by the children is the same.

Perhaps marriage can make people try a little harder to make a relationship succeed, and less likely to throw in the towel if there's a bad patch.
 
Joe T said:
She's 10 years older than me. Hence its a compliment. :)
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You missed the joke Joe, Meaning you were seeing LB behind the wifes back........................


Oh never mind mate..:lol:
 
I got married eight years ago and I love being married to my wife. She's fantastic!

I know it's possible to get divorced but to me it's not going to happen, we're together for good. I played the field in my 20's met my wife when I was 28, married when I was 29 and had my first kid when I was 30.

We're best mates and a good team at bringing up the kids. she's clever, funny, sexy and I am a lucky bloke.

Marriage dead?

Not mine...

:)
 
I'm not religious, in fact I'm almost religiously non religious if you see what I mean. So non of that churchy stuff applies for me. Did for the wife, she has a faith, so we got married in a church. Hypocrisy on my part, but I did the church bit for her.

I see marriage as a commitment that both of you undertake. Probably the most serious commitment you can make before having kids (that's another story).
When I said "I do... until death ...." I meant it. Here's hoping.
 
Joe T said:
I got an older missus too! Older women rock!

Too many people the m-word is more liekly to be a mortgage than a marriage. Research has shown that joint mortgages mean more to many people these days than marriages do. Certainly very interesting. :)
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busterboy said:
When LadyBird finds out this your a dead man Joe..:eek:
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Joe T said:
She's 10 years older than me. Hence its a compliment. :)
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busterboy said:
You missed the joke Joe, Meaning you were seeing LB behind the wifes back........................


Oh never mind mate..:lol:
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Joe T said:
It's been a VERY long day :(
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Ever get the feeling you're being talked about?!?!?!? :thinking:
 
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