Help - what would you do?

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GaryK26

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Gary
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My dad & step-mum moved to Spain about 6 or 7 years ago when he retired and to cut a long story short, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer 18 months ago. It was at a fairly advanced stage, meaning that there was little that the doctors could do other than try and maintain the cancer and control the pain.

Anyway, I've had a couple of calls over the past 2 days to say that he has drastically detoriated and things are serious. They have the doctor visiting on Wednesday and I should know more then.

I am looking to get out there within the next couple of weeks, with a strong possibility of next week.

Now I dont have a huge number of photos of dad and was wondering whether to take my camera and get what will probably be the last shots of him. He's not going to look too good, so I'm in 2 minds whether to take my camera.

What would you do? What have other forum members done when faced with similar situations?

Thanks
Gary :(
 
I would take the camera with you, and see how you feel about taking pictures when you get there, if you dont take it, you will regret it, while taking it you still have the option to take some if you feel its the right thing to do,
 
That's my dilema - whether it will be the right thing to do.
I guess I wont know until I get there, so I'll take a camera - even if it's just a p&s.
 
Really sorry to hear that, I would take the camera and see what you feel like when you get there. I took some pics of a friend and her partner (who was in the same situation), he did not look as bad as I had expected when they came out and a few weeks later they were used as part of the celebration of his life after the funeral.

If you don't take the camera you cannot get any pictures, if you do take it you don't have to use it if you don't want to.
 
Been there, take the camera.
 
It's a difficult one Gary and you have my sincere sympathies. I lost both my parents and my hubby and it's not nice.

Take it anyway and you will know yourself whether it is the right thing to do or not. You really want to lock in some good images in your head and some happy memories because those are the ones you really want to remember later. If you think the ones you could take will be ones you will want to remember then take them If not, don't worry, put the camera to one side and make sure you do have some nice happy pics to hand too.

Sending a hug.
x
 
It's a horirble position to be in and thoughts are with you and the family.

Personally I would take the camera, just because you take it doesn't mean that you have to use it but it is there if needed.

Hope all goes well...
 
TheNissanMan said:
It's a horirble position to be in and thoughts are with you and the family.

Personally I would take the camera, just because you take it doesn't mean that you have to use it but it is there if needed.

Hope all goes well...
Click to expand...

:agree:

DEFINATELY take a camera....... It'll be the biggest regret of your life if you dont. Good luck
 
:hug: please accept my sympathies

I'll add my agreement to the others, take your best camera and favourite lens(es); if you feel it is right, you will have what you need, if not it doesn't matter.

We seldom regret in life what we do, it is what we don't we regret
 
Take a camera, then you have the option of using it, or not. If you don't, you only have one option - and murphy's law you will want it when it's hundreds of miles away.
 
Sorry about the sad news.

If I were in your position, I'd take my camera just so I had the option of taking photos.

You're not the first to be in this position and you won't be the last. Maybe this will help you decide what to do... Here's someone who's been there already,

http://www.dayswithmyfather.com/
 
sorry to hear this, I was in the same position with my dad and thought 'I can't take pictures as it doesn't feel right' I have regretted it ever since and that was 17 years ago! Take the camera and take photos - you may not want to look at them now but in a few months,years you will probably change your mind.
 
Really sorry to hear about your bad news. I agree with the idea of taking the camera just in case you do decide to use it. Like others have said, you can always make your mind up once you are there.
 
When I lived in the South West UK, we used to travel 4 or 5 times a year to visit my parents. On one occasion I felt compelled to take the camera with me, something I wouldn't normally do on these occasions. I'm glad I did, as I took some really nice candid shots and as well as some family group shots.

We were not to know this would be the last occasion I would see my Dad as he died suddenly 3 months later.

Needless to say we treasure those last photographs! So take your camera and as others have suggested see how you feel.
 
Thank you all so much for your kind words.
I have decided that I will take my camera and will definitely take photos.
As many of you have said, I may very regret it if I didn't take it. I may not want to look at the pictures for some time, but in the future they will mean so much to me.

The really hard part is that I will be going there knowing that this would almost definitely be the last time I see my dad. Saying goodbye to someone who I love so much and means so much to me is probably going to be the hardest thing that I have ever had to do.
 
To my enormous regret I have very very few pictures of my late parents, so YES take your camera, you will know what is appropriate and what is not...Best of luck
 
GaryK26 said:
Thank you all so much for your kind words.
I have decided that I will take my camera and will definitely take photos.
As many of you have said, I may very regret it if I didn't take it. I may not want to look at the pictures for some time, but in the future they will mean so much to me.

The really hard part is that I will be going there knowing that this would almost definitely be the last time I see my dad. Saying goodbye to someone who I love so much and means so much to me is probably going to be the hardest thing that I have ever had to do.
Click to expand...

As difficult as it seems in the future you will look back with a smile on your face thinking of the good times and benig thankful that you did have the opportunity to say goodbye. So many people unfortunately don't.
 
I have just lost my mom to cancer and one of mine and my wife’s favourite pictures is badly exposed taken with a cheap compact. It is of my little girl and my mom laughing together. It was during my mom’s treatment most of her hair had fallen out and she has a dressing gown on. At the time we thought it was a poor picture but looking at it now it is the best picture we have of her, it shows that even though she had brain cancer she could still laugh with her granddaughter.
So even though you may feel at the time of taking the photos that you would not want to remember him that way, I’m sure as time passes you will look back on it and remember who he was not the way he suffered. So definitely take you camera and take some photos. Also I would say that this event is part of your life, and it may help you deal with it after much better than if you did not have pictures to look back on.
 
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