Funeral costs – a sad topic

[BillN_33]

My mother died a few weeks ago, she was born in 1923 so was 101+ years old when she died……. locally she was the last of her generation.

She died at home and had very minimal NHS care, (cost), in her final years ……. she was fortunate as she was never ill throughout her life, but a few weeks ago she had an infection in her leg, her pulse was very weak and she died of old age..... she was a strong woman

She lived all her life in South Yorkshire, never left the area

Doncaster Council funeral costs – I’m not really complaining but to dig the hole and put her into the ground, (she did not want to be cremated), Doncaster Council charge £3,250 plus ……. yes that’s over 3 thousand pounds, then you have to add the Undertakers costs, etc., etc.. resulting in total funeral cost of 8k to £10k ................ How do normal people manage these days when all they want is to give their parents a simple funeral.

Do you all realise how much the local authorities charge just for a plot in your local cemetery?

I'm the eldest son and fortunately we can afford the £10k cost of a funeral, but how do others manage?

I'm not complaining, more feeling that this is a sad reflection on the UK today

maybe you agree or maybe you think that it is normal

 

[Boots]

Sorry for your loss.

I had no idea about the current costs - that is unaffordable.

 

[BillN_33]

Sorry for your loss.

I had no idea about the current costs - that is unaffordable.

Thanks Boots

To add insult to injury - my mother owned her own house, worked all her life to get out of a council house into a terraced house - houses in S Yorkshire are not expensive, her house was worth £70k max... we needed probate to release her minimal assets ..........she left a will and the probate fee was £300 plus £1.50p a copy, (which is needed for all and sundry bodies) - a simple online question and answers form

 

[BillN_33]

add the parts up

Cemetery and crematorium price list - City of Doncaster Council

Price list for the period 1st April 2025 to 31st March 2026. NOTE: As part of the Competition and Marketing Authority requirements, our Crematorium pricing information also has to be provided in a specific format. This can be found in the document available for viewing and download below.

www.doncaster.gov.uk

 

[Nod]

At least you avoided care home fees. 2 months of those would cover the funeral costs for your Mother. (We did look at cheaper places but I wouldn't wish them on the rats we could hear behind the skirting boards...)

 

[BillN_33]

At least you avoided care home fees. 2 months of those would cover the funeral costs for your Mother. (We did look at cheaper places but I wouldn't wish them on the rats we could hear behind the skirting boards...)

she had 24/7 care at home, for some years........ no cost to the NHS

OK there are funeral, Undertakers costs, etc, but what the local (government authorities) charge is disgraceful - just check it out in your area

 

[ChrisH]

You can do probate yourself, it's not hard to do. Make sure you hold back a portion for 2 years to cover any late claims. Make sure you find all her debtors and fulfil those and your pretty much done.
As for funeral costs that must be taken from her estate and paid back before you cover anything else.
Sadly I have done it both for my late Brother and my late Mother.
My condolences to you. Both my late Brother and Mother were cremated so very much cheaper.
Maybe contact Co-op funeral services and ask for a conract burial it can work out cheaper.

 

[BillN_33]

I did the

You can do probate yourself, it's not hard to do. Make sure you hold back a portion for 2 years to cover any late claims. Make sure you find all her debtors and fulfil those and your pretty much done.
As for funeral costs that must be taken from her estate and paid back before you cover anything else.
Sadly I have done it both for my late Brother and my late Mother.
My condolences to you. Both my late Brother and Mother were cremated so very much cheaper.
Maybe contact Co-op funeral services and ask for a conract burial it can work out cheaper.

I made the probate application - I am fully aware of what needs to be done - the (government) fee was £300 plus £1.50p a copy of each "bit of paper' as I indicated

Fortunately no IHT was payable because of the low value of my mother's Estate

Fortunately no "stamp duty" was payable on the transfer of my mother's house to my brother because of the low value of the property

Funeral costs are a deduction from the estate........ again I am aware of that ......... but when there are no liquid assets what do you do

My mother's wish was that she would be buried

I, we, are quite happy with the Funeral Directors costs, my point was not this, or any of the above: it is what, effectively, the UK government charge, for digging a hole and putting a body in it - £3,250 if you happen to die in many parts of the UK, but in my mother's case, Doncaster. - years ago when my Grandfather was buried it was £5..........

and to gain more £'s for this Government, (of all colours), we live under, Death Certificates are £12.50p each.......... how many do you need

 

[woof woof]

Sorry for your loss Bill and I'm glad that your mother had a good life and the comfort of dying at home.

When my mam died the costs were the least of my worries. It was our family that was the problem. I'm glad you were spared all that.

 

[Mr Bump]

I suppose the main issue here is "burial" most people opt for cremation and the average is £4k-£5k

 

[Dave Canon]

Sorry for your loss but it is often particularly difficult if you do not know the wishes of the deceased. Before my mother died she was concerned about her Will and funeral costs but I reassured her that it would come from the estate so no need to worry. She was happy with a cremation and no Plaques etc.(she had good reasons for this). She had been an active family tree researcher for many years and often found a lonely individual crying in a graveyard which she considered to be pointless and unhelpful. We were aware that she had never been an active christian and when we had taken her to my eldest sister's funeral a year before, she had remarked that she found the non-religious service by the civil celebrant more comforting and relevant than most funerals she had attended. So we arranged something similar which we all felt worked including contributions from grandchildren. The probate was a bit messy but this was because she thought she needed to change her Will after my sister died but made the changes herself so her Will was then invalid. In the end the probate office accepted an older Will given that all the potential beneficiaries would agree and sign a document which they did. My mother was terminally ill and was expected to die a few days before her 90th birthday. We arranged a small party in the nursing home for her birthday and all of the rest of the remaining family attended. She seem surprisingly perky on her birthday but dies 48 hours later; it was clear that she hung onto life for this one remaining birthday and to clock up 90 years.

Dave

 

[BillN_33]

Thanks for all your good wishes guys - my mother died peacefully in her sleep - the nurse came in during the last few days and the medication prevented any suffering or pain at the end - she would have been 102 years in August ....... clearly there are mixed feelings as her quality of life deteriorated rapidly over the past 5 years.

I suppose burial is now not as usual as it once was, but my mother was old fashioned at best and she wanted to be buried in the same cemetery as her parents, my Dad and her brother and his wife.

I was just shocked at what the local Council charge ..........S Yorks is not a rich area and I am sure many find it difficult to cope with what a funeral now costs .......... there will be very few at the funeral service as all her friends have passed away, (some time ago), Her service will be a small family affair, a non-religious service conducted by the civil celebrant. I'm 78 years old and will be the oldest at the service.

 

[Garry Edwards]

My sympathies, been there, done that and it's always tough.

Cemetary costs - I just don't know, but I don't think it has anything to do with the government, it will be the local authority, and they are all struggling with their finances and my guess is that, as their only "competitors" are churchyards, they can pretty much charge what they like.

I've had to arrange a few funerals fairly recently, all at crematoriums, and my local authority has been charging £1050, which seems a lot, but I've been told that as the council tax has been increased by 10% that charge is also going up in line with the council tax inflation, and will do so automatically each year.

As for the funeral director costs, you and others have mentioned a very high figure, round here it's perfectly normal to pay less than £2000, but of course people can spend a lot more if they choose to do so. As for those who simply can't pay, I believe that if the next of kin is on benefits then there are funeral grants that cover all or most of the costs.

 

[andya700]

Soory for your loss Bill. When my father passed away in 2023, the Co-op funeral services did the basic service and cremation for £2,250, so what the council have charged seems way OTT to me.

 

[munch]

I did the

I made the probate application - I am fully aware of what needs to be done - the (government) fee was £300 plus £1.50p a copy of each "bit of paper' as I indicated

Fortunately no IHT was payable because of the low value of my mother's Estate

Fortunately no "stamp duty" was payable on the transfer of my mother's house to my brother because of the low value of the property

Funeral costs are a deduction from the estate........ again I am aware of that ......... but when there are no liquid assets what do you do

My mother's wish was that she would be buried

I, we, are quite happy with the Funeral Directors costs, my point was not this, or any of the above: it is what, effectively, the UK government charge, for digging a hole and putting a body in it - £3,250 if you happen to die in many parts of the UK, but in my mother's case, Doncaster. - years ago when my Grandfather was buried it was £5..........

and to gain more £'s for this Government, (of all colours), we live under, Death Certificates are £12.50p each.......... how many do you need

I am sorry for your loss. We have just been through this with a close friend and my Step-father in Law. The friend used pure cremation. Whilst it is what my friend wanted, the family felt excluded from the process. My FIL was also in a pre pay scheme and he had his ashes just scattered at the local crematorium.

There are huge differences in what Councils charge (it is local government that set the charges, not central government) for burial costs. With Richmond charging £1000 and Bradford £1730 the same with interning ashes with North Yorkshire charging £250 and Bradford £767.

 

[hashcake]

I am sorry for your loss. We have just been through this with a close friend and my Step-father in Law. The friend used pure cremation. Whilst it is what my friend wanted, the family felt excluded from the process. My FIL was also in a pre pay scheme and he had his ashes just scattered at the local crematorium.

There are huge differences in what Councils charge (it is local government that set the charges, not central government) for burial costs. With Richmond charging £1000 and Bradford £1730 the same with interning ashes with North Yorkshire charging £250 and Bradford £767.

My brother in law and sister paid for pure cremation.
They didn't want people congregating to say goodbye.
On both occasions we were told the day they were cremated so we held a wake at their bungalow.
My neice and I went down the same route and paid £1800 each.
I'm surprised how much a council charges.

 

[BillN_33]

Thanks again guys for your kind wishes ....... really appreciated ....... but we all now just want it to be over as there is almost a 4 week waiting list for Cemetery burial

at £3k+ just for the Cemetery Burial Doncaster Council must be one of the most expensive in the UK - I suppose that's what you get when you vote Labour, with Miliband as one of the local MP's

 

[munch]

Thanks again guys for your kind wishes ....... really appreciated ....... but we all now just want it to be over as there is almost a 4 week waiting list for Cemetery burial

at £3k+ just for the Cemetery Burial Doncaster Council must be one of the expensive in the UK - I suppose that's what you get when you vote Labour, with Miliband as one of the local MP's

Please don't make something like this political. There are many factors to consider, that are nothing to do with the colour of the Councils flag.

 

[BillN_33]

Burial and internment fees vary greatly in the UK from just over £1,000 to over £6,000 in parts of London

The more "rural" the Cemetery it seems the lower the charges - we live near Winchester and the fees for Burial and Internment are just over £1,000, (NOT Winchester Council), our local Cemetery. .......... Winchester Council charges appear to be over £3k.

 

[Bletch]

Hi @BillN_33

Sorry to hear about your Mother. A few things struck a cord and I hope you will be okay going through all this.

My Mum died Christmas 2022. A little bit younger than yours, but shared a few similar things, never seriously ill throughout her life. She also lived just over the border from you in West Yorkshire and owned a little council house worth about 85K.

She had 2 care workers at home for 6-7 weeks (£650 per week), 1 care worker would have been free but she needed estra help with toilet needs. After spending a month in hospital (Where she caught Covid twice), she went into a care home which cost her £950 a week. She was informed that once her savings were reduced to £2300, her house may need to be sold.

She basically starved herself in the care home and died 9 days later.

I managed fairly well regarding the financial side of things, despite being a minimum wage worker. Mum paid for her cremation a few years ago (£3000). Her will was pretty straight forward (changed at the last minute to suit a Nephew and girlfriend who suddenly entered Mum's life).

Probate took nearly a year, start to finish. Then the house was sold to my Nephew which too 4-5 months.

I hope you have some friends to lean on when you are feeling down

 

[BillN_33]

Hi @BillN_33

Sorry to hear about your Mother. A few things struck a cord and I hope you will be okay going through all this.

My Mum died Christmas 2022. A little bit younger than yours, but shared a few similar things, never seriously ill throughout her life. She also lived just over the border from you in West Yorkshire and owned a little council house worth about 85K.

She had 2 care workers at home for 6-7 weeks (£650 per week), 1 care worker would have been free but she needed estra help with toilet needs. After spending a month in hospital (Where she caught Covid twice), she went into a care home which cost her £950 a week. She was informed that once her savings were reduced to £2300, her house may need to be sold.

She basically starved herself in the care home and died 9 days later.

I managed fairly well regarding the financial side of things, despite being a minimum wage worker. Mum paid for her cremation a few years ago (£3000). Her will was pretty straight forward (changed at the last minute to suit a Nephew and girlfriend who suddenly entered Mum's life).

Probate took nearly a year, start to finish. Then the house was sold to my Nephew which too 4-5 months.

I hope you have some friends to lean on when you are feeling down

Thanks for posting, really sad stories can be told and when the death of old people happen - because death is terrible and because we are expected to keep stum and just not even talk about it the authorities just get away with many things - the charges made by the local council just to dig a hole and intern a body, £3,000+ in my mother's case are just a plain rip off - a "waiting list" of 3 to 4 weeks to bury a person, what is this country coming to?

All she had was a terraced house worth £60k to £75k - £300 Probate fee Sir plus £1.50p a copy and you can expect a 12 week wait

My Mum was the wife and daughter of a coal miner, she worked hard all her life to buy her own home, a terraced 2 up 2 down in S Yorkshire ........ when she realised that this would be (effectively) taken away from her to cover the costs of a care home she was very upset and her Yorkshire spirit came out and she refused to give in - she just lasted and lasted at home with close family care.
A posting above said "don't bring politics" into this ......... does he really know what he is talking about - the disparity of the costs of burial and internment in the UK between geographical regions is wide, it should at least be consistant and there should be some government regulation to control this - OK maybe now they want us all to be cremated as plots in the Cemetery are running out.

(being political - her Winter Fuel Allowance was taken away from her by a Labour Government and once my brother received his Old Aged Pension they took his, (stopped) his Carer Allowance - my brother cared , with the help of family, for my Mother for the last years of her life - virtually zero involvement from the medical or care authorities)

 

[munch]

Thanks for posting, really sad stories can be told and when the death of old people happen - because death is terrible and because we are expected to keep stum and just not even talk about it the authorities just get away with many things - the charges made by the local council just to dig a hole and intern a body, £3,000+ in my mother's case are just a plain rip off - a "waiting list" of 3 to 4 weeks to bury a person, what is this country coming to?

All she had was a terraced house worth £60k to £75k - £300 Probate fee Sir plus £1.50p a copy and you can expect a 12 week wait

My Mum was the wife and daughter of a coal miner, she worked hard all her life to buy her own home, a terraced 2 up 2 down in S Yorkshire ........ when she realised that this would be (effectively) taken away from her to cover the costs of a care home she was very upset and her Yorkshire spirit came out and she refused to give in - she just lasted and lasted at home with close family care.
A posting above said "don't bring politics" into this ......... does he really know what he is talking about - the disparity of the costs of burial and internment in the UK between geographical regions is wide, it should at least be consistant and there should be some government regulation to control this - OK maybe now they want us all to be cremated as plots in the Cemetery are running out.

(being political - her Winter Fuel Allowance was taken away from her by a Labour Government and once my brother received his Old Aged Pension they took his, (stopped) his Carer Allowance - my brother cared , with the help of family, for my Mother for the last years of her life - virtually zero involvement from the medical or care authorities)

My comment about not making this thread political, was in response to you saying "I suppose that's what you get when you vote Labour, with Miliband as one of the local MP's"

As I pointed out earlier Burial and ashes interment cost vary greatly across the country and is not dependant on either central government or the colour of district councils make up.

 

[davecurley]

Looks as though your LA are taking the P@ss, In my area this is the charges
In Dalbeattie, Dumfries and Galloway, a burial plot for a resident costs £675.20, while for a non-resident, it's £940.80. The cost of a coffin burial for a resident is £1,019.60, and for a non-resident, it's £1,318.80. Dumfries and Galloway Council provides more information about burial fees and charges.

 

[f/1.2]

My dad died suddenly 5 tears ago. At the time myself, my brother and my mum just weren't in a fit state to be dealing with all of the funeral stuff and one my uncles made all the arrangements. It wasn't a big affair just a burial, no church service just the local funeral directors and then a wake at the local rugby club. Total bill came in at just under 14k not sure that worked out for all the individual things. Unfortunately funerals are expensive. That didn't include the cost of the headstone, I can't remember how much that cost but it wasn't cheap.

Have wondered since how a lot of people can afford to pay that sort of money, me and my brother split the bill between us.

 

[Bletch]

My Mum was the wife and daughter of a coal miner, she worked hard all her life ........ when she realised that this would be (effectively) taken away from her to cover the costs of a care home she was very upset and her Yorkshire spirit came out and she refused to give in.

My Mum too . Then Dad & Mum came down from Lanarkshire and my Dad worked in the mine at South Kirkby (or the other one next to it 'Ridings'? I forget) for most of his life.

Mum was really angry when she found out she would have to pay for her care at home, then extra at the care home. She seemed to think she was entitled to free care and I wouldn't dare disagree with her. She was quite stubborn in her ways and only came around when there was no option but to.

 

[JohnC6]

Thanks again guys for your kind wishes ....... really appreciated ....... but we all now just want it to be over as there is almost a 4 week waiting list for Cemetery burial

at £3k+ just for the Cemetery Burial Doncaster Council must be one of the most expensive in the UK - I suppose that's what you get when you vote Labour, with Miliband as one of the local MP's

103 ! Amazing, Bill. I had a look at costs and Southend is claimed to be the most expensive but pretty much the same as Doncaster at over £3200 and that is just to pay the council. Of course , it includes VAT at 20%. There's a suggestion that councils are overcharging to deter burials because of the lack of land and the high cost of what there is available.

I started off looking at fees and why, with so many LAs it's so expensive and went down the path of what's to be done in the future as populations grow. Quite enlightening.

 

[BillN_33]

103 ! Amazing, Bill. I had a look at costs and Southend is claimed to be the most expensive but pretty much the same as Doncaster at over £3200 and that is just to pay the council. Of course , it includes VAT at 20%. There's a suggestion that councils are overcharging to deter burials because of the lack of land and the high cost of what there is available.

I started off looking at fees and why, with so many LAs it's so expensive and went down the path of what's to be done in the future as populations grow. Quite enlightening.

Thanks John

no 101 when she died, would have been 102 in August, born in August 1923 - she got a very nice Card from the King & Queen which she really appreciated

if you look at the link I posted above of Doncaster Council charges, (Labour elected Councillors for years and now Reform!! at the last Local Elections), they charge an extra £300 for Headstone "permit"