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One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
"Bring them along" the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place, the grass is almost a foot high."
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A World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps is walking down the High St. one day when he spots an advert in his local record shop for "Wasp sounds from around the Globe".
On further enquiry he discovers that a vinyl recording of this subject has just been released and a few copies are available in store there and then.
Naturally, being a World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps he is curious and asks the young chap behind the counter if he can have a listen to "Wasp sounds from around the Globe".
A few seconds later the World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps is standing at one of those little sound stations with his headphones on and a puzzled expression on his face. He removes the headphones, walks back to the counter and catches the young sales persons attention. "Excuse me" he says, "I'm A World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps and I've just been listening to "Wasp sounds from around the Globe", and I must say, there appears to be some mistake. Those are no Wasp sounds with which I am familiar".
The young man dutifully checks the recording in question and assures the World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps that he is indeed listening to "Wasp sounds from around the Globe".
Puzzled, the World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps returns to the headphones and once again begins to listen.
After a few seconds he once again returns to the counter and accosts the young fellow there. "Excuse me" he says, "As I mentioned before, I am a World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps and I've just been listening to "Wasp sounds from around the Globe" and I have to say again, those are no Wasp sounds with which I am familiar. Are you certain I have been listening to the correct recording?"
Slightly exasperated by now, the young man checks the disc currently playing and with a slightly sheepish grin confesses: "Oops, sorry Sir, I seem to have played you the Bee side"
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
"Bring them along" the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place, the grass is almost a foot high."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps is walking down the High St. one day when he spots an advert in his local record shop for "Wasp sounds from around the Globe".
On further enquiry he discovers that a vinyl recording of this subject has just been released and a few copies are available in store there and then.
Naturally, being a World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps he is curious and asks the young chap behind the counter if he can have a listen to "Wasp sounds from around the Globe".
A few seconds later the World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps is standing at one of those little sound stations with his headphones on and a puzzled expression on his face. He removes the headphones, walks back to the counter and catches the young sales persons attention. "Excuse me" he says, "I'm A World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps and I've just been listening to "Wasp sounds from around the Globe", and I must say, there appears to be some mistake. Those are no Wasp sounds with which I am familiar".
The young man dutifully checks the recording in question and assures the World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps that he is indeed listening to "Wasp sounds from around the Globe".
Puzzled, the World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps returns to the headphones and once again begins to listen.
After a few seconds he once again returns to the counter and accosts the young fellow there. "Excuse me" he says, "As I mentioned before, I am a World renowned expert in the sounds of European Wasps and I've just been listening to "Wasp sounds from around the Globe" and I have to say again, those are no Wasp sounds with which I am familiar. Are you certain I have been listening to the correct recording?"
Slightly exasperated by now, the young man checks the disc currently playing and with a slightly sheepish grin confesses: "Oops, sorry Sir, I seem to have played you the Bee side"
at them both...Love that first one, my kinda joke.
