A p*** was living next door to me - convicted

Carlh

Carlh

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Now I know you're probably thinking, hey, he'll be out in 11 years so dont worry about it - or move etc.. but here's the full story.

So - (and Im hoping there are some Police on here who may be able to help me with this).

I'd post the links and his name, but the only thing that is stopping me, is that his wife (as weird as she is and the weird kid) are innocent - so I would not be doing any good by releasing this info - but if you do want to read the newspaper story about it - message me and I'll send you the info.

I'll start from the beginning.

A family lives next door to us, not the friendliest. Moved in about 3 years ago. Came from Devon so a hell of a trek up north. Never thought anything of it as I originally come from South Wales and moved to Telford because of what I do for work and the company I am employed with, originates in Chester but I didnt want to move to Chester (house prices, plus additional distance to drive when visiting parents so I moved "in the middle").

Last year, the husband "disappears". The wife and I thought, maybe he's been playing away and got thrown out (there was constant shouting from their house, constant) or perhaps he had clouted her as we saw on various occasions Police cars and "different" cars parked outside their house. Looking back, it was probably to get him and probably solicitors or counselling. An ambulance also was called there once for the wife - I am presuming some kind of breakdown about it all.

His wife also had a Daughter, who they told us was in university. The victim, came out about her abuse while in University. We've never seen the daughter - she has never visited - 2+2=4 - step daughter was the victim.

The step daughter was 12 when it started, apparently going on from 2005 until 2009. Was identified by a mole on his private parts which he said she may have overheard him say that he had one when bantering with his mates... Yeah right.

The University was informed of the abuse 3 years ago, just about the time that they moved here.

Some of you know me from the posts I put up of my kids, now I know the guy is locked up but his wife sent us a Christmas card with his name included on the card. This tells me, she doesn't believe her daughter and is sticking by her husband, even though he's been found guilty and locked up for 13 years (12 years left to go). Now I have no intention of moving - I love it where we live, crime is low, schools are nearby and we're looking at getting our oldest girl into a nearby school.

Moving also doesn't guarantee that we wont end up with a p*** in the street or again, living next door. He's done wrong, but I have a feeling that his wife believes him and he's going to be living back in that house when he gets out. The police (as far as I have researched) are NOT going to inform the neighbourhood - in fact, no one told us, we found out from a neighbour who found out by accident.

I feel really angry about this - that a dysfunctional family are living next door (the youngest lad who is his real kid) is a right weirdo. He has no friends, does not go out just potters about in the garden. Not a normal 15 year old teen (I was out getting into trouble with my mates, drinking and chasing girls - not the best role model either - but at least that is "normal").

Now the PC crowd, dont give me "he's done the crime and doing the time, dont worry about it" - My daughter will be of the same age as his step-daughter/victim when he gets out. I cant see the weirdo neighbours moving due to a lot of re-construction going on in their front and back garden. I'm talking 20k of work going on in refurbing the whole house from windows to complete garden overhaul i.e. there is a mini-digger outside that this 15 year old is driving (how the hell the law allows that, I do not know, but there is no limit on mini-digger driving).

The guy isn't just a p*** - he's a p*** rapist - the worst kind that you can get. 13 years is a LONG time for p*** conviction, they basically dont even convict you now unless you've done some sick things - and he's a sicko.

Any advice would be great. Baring in mind, Im building up a business so dont want to move and start my life all over again when my family and I have done nothing wrong. Why can't they just hang these people? (I know why but hell, it should be brought back)

The only thing I can think of is that his wife will divorce him and not want him back - I guess I'll find out if thats the case by reading the Christmas cards and seeing if this p***'s name is on there in the coming years....
 
What an awful situation to be in, I thought neighbours had a right to know now? I guess I was wrong.

I think the worrying thing is all those years waiting and not knowing if she will have him back.

I can't get my head around the wife believing him but sadly it does seem to happen or they forgive them, makes my blood boil!
 
Cg_Girl said:
What an awful situation to be in, I thought neighbours had a right to know now? I guess I was wrong.

I think the worrying thing is all those years waiting and not knowing if she will have him back.

I can't get my head around the wife believing him but sadly it does seem to happen or they forgive them, makes my blood boil!
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Link being PM'd to you

neil_g said:
thats a lot of speculation. maybe he was abusive to the wife too.

without giving us the facts (links to articles etc), i dont think its particularly nice to assume the family was in on it/turning a blind eye.
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Link being PM'd to you
 
I certainly wouldn't want a freak like that living next door to me either.
But surely if it became common knowledge where they (he) were living they would want to move to a new area for a "fresh start" when he's served his sentence.
I don't know the legalities of making this public knowledge, but as he has been found guilty and convicted, it is a matter of public record.
If not, it should be.
After all, if you tell people where he was living, that is not lying/slander.deformation (or whatever).
If he got 13 years, he will be out in around 6 years time !
 
GHP said:
I certainly wouldn't want a freak like that living next door to me either.
But surely if it became common knowledge where they (he) were living they would want to move to a new area for a "fresh start" when he's served his sentence.
I don't know the legalities of making this public knowledge, but as he has been found guilty and convicted, it is a matter of public record.
If not, it should be.
After all, if you tell people where he was living, that is not lying/slander.deformation (or whatever).
If he got 13 years, he will be out in around 6 years time !
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:( I hope he doesn't get out in 6 years. I dont want to make his family feel uncomfortable for living next door to us so am going to bide my time until its closer to a release date. If I see him though, I'll make sure he knows the whole street knows. I know he "has" to live somewhere and perhaps the best thing is that if he knows everyone else knows, he's keep himself to himself.

I just dont like the fact that these monsters do re-offend, its not a "choice" but how they're made (chemical imbalance?). Its spooked us up as we're 10 foot away from the house.
 
I know I may get judged for saying this but if this guy and his family were living next door to me I'd find some very subtle way of making sure everyone in the local area and perhaps some local vigilante groups knew in the hope that life would get so uncomfortable they would have to move on. His wife & kids might be considered collateral damage but if she's willing to standby a convicted pedophile I'd have very little sympathy for her.

There's no way I could ever rest easy knowing such a monster was living feet away from me and I don't believe that prison time does anything to reform sickos like this.

I really do feel for you and your family Carl.
 
Russ77 said:
I know I may get judged for saying this but if this guy and his family were living next door to me I'd find some very subtle way of making sure everyone in the local area and perhaps some local vigilante groups knew in the hope that life would get so uncomfortable they would have to move on. His wife & kids might be considered collateral damage but if she's willing to standby a convicted pedophile I'd have very little sympathy for her.

There's no way I could ever rest easy knowing such a monster was living feet away from me and I don't believe that prison time does anything to reform sickos like this.

I really do feel for you and your family Carl.
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Totally agree..to be honest I'm surprised there's been no Street meetings and stuff already seeing as it's in the paper
 
Russ77 said:
I know I may get judged for saying this but if this guy and his family were living next door to me I'd find some very subtle way of making sure everyone in the local area ...
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We once had issues with a local few lads who thought it funny to get drunk and throw bricks through people windows, cars etc at 2am for 4 weeks running (taken from local building works).
Police finally turned up just as they were grabbed by the neighbours having bust another window (and a bit of a scuffle). Photos of the lads were taken, distributed at all households in the area, local pubs, everywhere we could think of.
 
Carlh said:
:( I hope he doesn't get out in 6 years. I dont want to make his family feel uncomfortable for living next door to us so am going to bide my time until its closer to a release date. If I see him though, I'll make sure he knows the whole street knows. I know he "has" to live somewhere and perhaps the best thing is that if he knows everyone else knows, he's keep himself to himself.

I just dont like the fact that these monsters do re-offend, its not a "choice" but how they're made (chemical imbalance?). Its spooked us up as we're 10 foot away from the house.
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Sadly, I think he will be out after half his sentence has been served. That's the way it works now. Half the term served, then released on licence.
I personally would verbally inform anyone and everyone in the street about him, but would refrain from posting on social media, or putting posters up etc.
After Sarah's law was passed, people can ask the police where a paedophile lives, but they have to do this directly to the police, AFAIK.
 
I dont know if it varies state to state, but i know for Florida, there was a website you could go to where you put in the address and it identified registered/convicted sex offenders living nearby. Were they pushing for this in Sarah's law and it didnt get taken up?
 
One thing I will suggest is that you consider the fact that in exposing him publicly on release, you will also expose his victim to public scrutiny in all probability.
 
viv1969 said:
One thing I will suggest is that you consider the fact that in exposing him publicly on release, you will also expose his victim to public scrutiny in all probability.
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I do realise that, though his victim is in devon and we're pretty far away so I dont think that would have any consequence. Its all in the papers anyway (if you PM me I'll send you the links).

If his wife continues to post christmas cards with his name on there then I see that as her defending him and telling us that he will be back there when released. My little girl will be the same age as his victim (his step-daughter) if he stays in the full term and a little younger if he gets out early. I'll do whatever it takes to protect my family, whatever it takes.
Byker28i said:
http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2016/01/27/telford-has-highest-rate-of-child-sex-crime-cases/

Telford has the highest rate...
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:( I have read that

I dont know what is wrong with people :(
 
Carl you said he got 13 years (12 to go?) he will get out early he will do 3/4 of the time in prison then released on licence
he will be on the sex offenders register its all down what's goes on his licence if he is allowed back home, most have to go to a half way house first
 
What about talking to a newspaper journalist,i certainly would.
 
I think I would just let things calm down for a while, he is behind bars and I am sure all in the area are aware of the situation.
Justice has been done, let it diffuse.
 
Its a very difficult situation and one you should worry about just yet. I know you said they are doing lots of work however i would imagine they will move once he's out if its local knowledge.
 
Carlh said:
Some of you know me from the posts I put up of my kids, now I know the guy is locked up but his wife sent us a Christmas card with his name included on the card. This tells me, she doesn't believe her daughter and is sticking by her husband, even though he's been found guilty and locked up for 13 years (12 years left to go).
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  1. denial
  2. anger
  3. bargaining
  4. depression
  5. acceptance
Plus the usual British unhealthy dose of "keeping up appearances" regardless of the circumstances. The Christmas card doesn't tell you very much, other than she's still struggling to come to terms with it all. People can be strange in their reactions to circumstances, less rational than an outside observer.
 
Alastair said:
  1. denial
  2. anger
  3. bargaining
  4. depression
  5. acceptance
Plus the usual British unhealthy dose of "keeping up appearances" regardless of the circumstances. The Christmas card doesn't tell you very much, other than she's still struggling to come to terms with it all. People can be strange in their reactions to circumstances, less rational than an outside observer.
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she got taken to hospital in an ambulance not long after he "disappeared" - so in all fairness, I think she had a breakdown about it all.
 
Kingo46 said:
Carl you said he got 13 years (12 to go?) he will get out early he will do 3/4 of the time in prison then released on licence
he will be on the sex offenders register its all down what's goes on his licence if he is allowed back home, most have to go to a half way house first
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that would be reassuring (y)
 
Carlh said:
His wife also had a Daughter, who they told us was in university. The victim, came out about her abuse while in University. We've never seen the daughter - she has never visited - 2+2=4 - step daughter was the victim.
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sorry but ive read the news link (the 2nd one refused to load) and that is still a massive speculation.

the step daughter may just not like their step parent (happens a lot). i dont think its wise to make such claims without all of the facts. plus theres enough information in this thread to make it pop up on google (search for sex attack spotted dick/mole etc), wouldn't be hard for the family to find.
 
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neil_g said:
sorry but ive read the news link (the 2nd one refused to load) and that is still a massive speculation.

the step daughter may just not like their step parent (happens a lot). i dont think its wise to make such claims without all of the facts. plus theres enough information in this thread to make it pop up on google (search for sex attack spotted dick/mole etc), wouldn't be hard for the family to find.
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I dont think he'd get 13 years if there wasn't some kind of proof. Other than knowing his private parts in detail which he says his mates would have bantered with him about it, hence thats where she got the information from, would not be enough to send someone down for 13 years. If accusations are automatic prison sentences, then there's a lot of people in prison that are innocent. I know the justice system needs a kick in the backside, but it cant be that bad surely that purely on the say so without any evidence, a man (or woman) is imprisoned on heresay. There will be factual proof that the public have not been allowed to see, for whatever reason.
 
Why don't you simply enjoy the calm and quiet life for now, not stress yourself and hence destroy your health through FEAR.

12 years is a long time and chances are things might happen so the problem could disappear for whatever reason. If not, you might see everything in a different light by then and a solution might be easier to come by.
 
That's a real b****r and must be a true nightmare for you and your family Carl :(

But in all honesty, do any of us truly know our neighbours and what they are capable of?
It's only when something like this hits the press that we find out for sure ...
 
Carlh said:
I dont think he'd get 13 years if there wasn't some kind of proof. Other than knowing his private parts in detail which he says his mates would have bantered with him about it, hence thats where she got the information from, would not be enough to send someone down for 13 years. If accusations are automatic prison sentences, then there's a lot of people in prison that are innocent. I know the justice system needs a kick in the backside, but it cant be that bad surely that purely on the say so without any evidence, a man (or woman) is imprisoned on heresay. There will be factual proof that the public have not been allowed to see, for whatever reason.
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i was talking about 2+2=daughter being the victim. if not just speculation then perhaps a little libellous.
 
Cobra said:
That's a real b****r and must be a true nightmare for you and your family Carl :(

But in all honesty, do any of us truly know our neighbours and what they are capable of?
It's only when something like this hits the press that we find out for sure ...
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Im ok and im not worried - its going to be a while before he gets out. But you're right - it could be anyone and even if you move theres no guarantee that you wont wind up next door to some weirdo or the weirdo moves next door to you. For now, all is fine with the world, he's off the streets and thats all that matters (y)
 
Let's be frank if your that concerned about it, that your putting that much thought in to it, I'd be considering moving, that said what do you think the chances are that he would actually come back to the same place, I'd think pretty damn slim, they'll or he will likely want to move to somewhere new where only the authorities are aware of the history let's ever it every single person will know what he has done in your locality so he probably wouldn't want to come back for fear of getting his head kicked in
 
You're not alone in this situation. I have a convicted flasher living across the road and my daughter is about the age of those he'd exposed himself too. He's currently in jail but due to come out soon. His family still live across the road and are insisting that he did these acts because of a certain disease. I know that's complete b/s because get this, I've recently been confirmed with the same disease. None of us locals really know how to handle him when/if he comes out. We're hoping they'll move.
 
He'll spend the next decade or so in prison and then possibly a bail hostel so don't think theirs any great urgency, give it a few years the wife will of come to her senses and all being well moved on so when he's finally released their wont be no place for him, married or not 10 years is a long time for any one to wait.

Failing that though I'd keep a copy of all the news articles and when he finally does get out if theirs any hint of him coming back next door distribute them anywhere and everywhere you can.
 
I think some factual corrections are needed and things need to be gotten into perspective.

Firstly and most importantly the vast majority of sexual abuse is committed by a family member or family friend, the whole rhetoric of a P**** on every street corner is just plain wrong, as is the stereotype of a middle aged man.
In fact the worst age group for such things is the 18-35 year olds, and women as well as men, women are often enablers as well.

When he gets out he will most likely have to spend time in a bail hostel or halfway house and will be subject to a sexual offences prevention order.
Part of that order will mean he won't be allowed any unsupervised contact with children under the age of 16 years old, by even talking to them he is in breach of his order and subject to recall to prison.

I know these things not by looking at published figures and advice but from my previous involvement in helping to run a support group for the survivors of sexual abuse and listening to them as well as my own experience as a child and also my experience as a site admin on that particular social site helping to find and remove paedophiles from it.

The best protection you can give your children is to educate them but without frightening them, we really don't want generations of children frightened to step outside, but it can be done so that they know what is inappropriate when it comes to touching and of course the general safety rules about not talking to/going off with strangers.

The NSPCC or even your local police should be able to help with advice in educating young people, but please, do it yourself rather than relying on the schools to do it, its your responsibility as a parent, not theirs.

The other things to do whilst your children are young are common sense things really.
Educate yourselves so you know your way around a computer/tablet/mobile phone, learn how to check the internet/call/message history and set the families devices so they store the history.
Use software such as net nanny or similar so you can prevent access to unsuitable sites or check to see if your ISP provides a similar service where it blocks such sites.
Monitor your childrens internet usage, yes I know it sounds draconian but its still a good idea.
Don't let your children join social networking sites until they are old enough, i.e. over 13 years old, there are so many parents who let their children onto such sites much to early and then wonder why they've been exposed to things they don't want them exposed to or seem to be growing up much to fast.
Keep the computer in a family room, computers in kids rooms aren't a good idea and only let them have basic phones, not smart phones or camera phones.

Finally the best thing of all is to engender a relationship with your children where they can talk to you openly about absolutely anything, this does have its downsides and as they get older you find yourself having to listen to things that you really don't want to hear or are certainly in the realm of too much information (lots of mentally humming la la la la la) but its a small price to pay when you know if anythings bothering them they will come to you and talk about it.

lastly, I'm afraid we've never hanged paedophiles, just murderers in recent history and rapists when you go back to the 18th century, so bringing it back isn't an option, in fact getting it back for murder is going to be a hard slog but one I personally hope happens.

I hope this helps.
 
magicaxeman said:
lastly, I'm afraid we've never hanged paedophiles, just murderers in recent history and rapists when you go back to the 18th century, so bringing it back isn't an option, in fact getting it back for murder is going to be a hard slog but one I personally hope happens.

I hope this helps.
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Distressing though this whole subject may be and doubtless I'd be apoplectic if a family member was the victim of a paedophile... I do in my calmer moments believe that this is a case of sickness rather than simple badness and as such I can't agree with the death penalty in these cases. We may never know what happens to flick the switch in the offenders mind and lead to the development of abnormal sexual behaviour and tendencies but I do believe it's a case of mental malady or illness, for want of a better word, and possibly in response to something in the persons past. What we do with people who are ill in this way is another question but I don't think that the answer is to hang them.
 
magicaxeman said:
I think some factual corrections are needed and things need to be gotten into perspective.

Firstly and most importantly the vast majority of sexual abuse is committed by a family member or family friend, the whole rhetoric of a P**** on every street corner is just plain wrong, as is the stereotype of a middle aged man.
In fact the worst age group for such things is the 18-35 year olds, and women as well as men, women are often enablers as well.

When he gets out he will most likely have to spend time in a bail hostel or halfway house and will be subject to a sexual offences prevention order.
Part of that order will mean he won't be allowed any unsupervised contact with children under the age of 16 years old, by even talking to them he is in breach of his order and subject to recall to prison.

I know these things not by looking at published figures and advice but from my previous involvement in helping to run a support group for the survivors of sexual abuse and listening to them as well as my own experience as a child and also my experience as a site admin on that particular social site helping to find and remove paedophiles from it.

The best protection you can give your children is to educate them but without frightening them, we really don't want generations of children frightened to step outside, but it can be done so that they know what is inappropriate when it comes to touching and of course the general safety rules about not talking to/going off with strangers.

The NSPCC or even your local police should be able to help with advice in educating young people, but please, do it yourself rather than relying on the schools to do it, its your responsibility as a parent, not theirs.

The other things to do whilst your children are young are common sense things really.
Educate yourselves so you know your way around a computer/tablet/mobile phone, learn how to check the internet/call/message history and set the families devices so they store the history.
Use software such as net nanny or similar so you can prevent access to unsuitable sites or check to see if your ISP provides a similar service where it blocks such sites.
Monitor your childrens internet usage, yes I know it sounds draconian but its still a good idea.
Don't let your children join social networking sites until they are old enough, i.e. over 13 years old, there are so many parents who let their children onto such sites much to early and then wonder why they've been exposed to things they don't want them exposed to or seem to be growing up much to fast.
Keep the computer in a family room, computers in kids rooms aren't a good idea and only let them have basic phones, not smart phones or camera phones.

Finally the best thing of all is to engender a relationship with your children where they can talk to you openly about absolutely anything, this does have its downsides and as they get older you find yourself having to listen to things that you really don't want to hear or are certainly in the realm of too much information (lots of mentally humming la la la la la) but its a small price to pay when you know if anythings bothering them they will come to you and talk about it.

lastly, I'm afraid we've never hanged paedophiles, just murderers in recent history and rapists when you go back to the 18th century, so bringing it back isn't an option, in fact getting it back for murder is going to be a hard slog but one I personally hope happens.

I hope this helps.
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It's a real shame you felt the need to taint some really thoughtful advice with your medievel opinion re the death penalty. :(
 
Carlh said:
13 years is a LONG time for p*** conviction, they basically dont even convict you now unless you've done some sick things
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Yes "they" do convict, "they" being the people that haven't fabricated some half-arsed excuse about a sore throat or weekend holiday in Bognor, or "self employed, can't take time off to fulfil an important civic duty as I'm WAY too important for that" to "get out" of jury duty (see if you can guess what I think of people that try to evade their responsibilities in this regard). Judges don't convict. the police don't convict, the CPS don't convict, it's the jury that convict or accquit.

You think that juries don't have the same fears as everyone else? That they are some special breed of people that think "oh, rape of a child, not too serious, we'll let them off even though we're sure they did it"? I don't.

Given the sentence, it must have been a conviction by a jury in the Crown Court, not a summary conviction by magistrates. Also rape - you described him as a rapist, so that is what he must have been convicted of - is not an "either way" offence, it is so serious a charge it has to go to the Crown Court for trial.

The criminal justice system in the UK has many flaws, but the principle of conviction being by a jury of one's peers is not amongst them.
 
Its unlikely that a sex offense of this nature would be tried in a magistrates court.
 
Hi Carl, you asked in your OP for input from police officers in particular; I'm a detective, and deal with serious sexual offences (although I don't specialise in child sex offences). I've skimmed through the thread and it appears that you've had all of your questions answered, but I'd be happy to assist if I can. To confirm, if he got 13 years he'll serve half of that unless he misbehaves or gives the authorities reason to keep him in. If he spent time on remand before sentencing then this counts towards it, so he may be out earlier. He may also be released earlier to a bail hostel with strict conditions, or on electronic tag. Without wishing to be alarmist (quite the opposite) there are sex offenders in almost every community. You cannot tell who they are just by looking at them, there are no defining characteristics. They come from every walk of life. Whilst your neighbour might fit a stereotype, there will be others who present themselves very well. They can appear to be charming, delightful and lovely people. Sexual offences are massively under-reported, and even when they are reported most don't get to court. As an example, the recent Rotherham investigation identified over 500 girls that had been victims of the gang being targeted. Of those 500+, just 7 were deemed to offer strong enough evidence for the suspects to be charged.

With regard to your neighbours, do you intend to bring the subject up with the wife? Have you considered that she might be his victim as much as her daughter is? Perhaps she is trying to maintain some sort of normality when she signed the card from her and her husband. She may well be very traumatised by revelation of her husband's offences.

You are understandably concerned that the husband may return in time - the reality is that he is likely to be monitored by police and probation for a very long time, and in all likelihood for the rest of his life.

As I said earlier, feel free to ask any questions and I'll do my best to answer them.
 
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