A Difficult Decision

Marc

Marc

TPer Emeritus
Suspended / Banned
Messages
34,670
Edit My Images
Yes
Don't worry, it doesn't involve pets, but today I made the decision not to renew my driving licence next year. I haven't driven since last year and Mrs Marc is happy to do it all. I just don't want to be that guy who waits until it all goes tits up before accepting that he's no longer fit to be behind the wheel (dad only made the decision after an accident. Fortunately no one was hurt).

I think it's the right decision, but it does curtail my independence somewhat.

Maybe we need a WMMST (What Made Me Sad Today) thread
 
Well done on the decision. Like your Dad, my Grandfather didn't make the decision until he had an accident (like your Dad, nobody [other than a bridge...] was hurt). If there was a :clap: like, you'd get it. I'd guess that once VED, insurance and depreciation was taken into account, you'll have a few bob for taxis for when S is busy (or uninclined!)
 
Nod said:
Well done on the decision. Like your Dad, my Grandfather didn't make the decision until he had an accident (like your Dad, nobody [other than a bridge...] was hurt). If there was a :clap: like, you'd get it. I'd guess that once VED, insurance and depreciation was taken into account, you'll have a few bob for taxis for when S is busy (or uninclined!)
Click to expand...
Thanks.

We're keeping the Motability car as Sue's isn't big enough for my chair so no savings to be had there. I'm exempt from VED anyway and insurance is included with Motability.
 
If you haven't driven for a year then perhaps the decision was a little easier and I hope you have managed this change well.

I'll be gutted when my times comes as I loved cars and driving all my life.

Good luck going forward.
 
I had the same feeling with motor bikes - when I got to 70 years old I felt that my reactions when riding just were not good enough, so I stopped riding - still have a couple of bikes in the garage but I doubt I'll ever get on them again.
 
woof woof said:
If you haven't driven for a year then perhaps the decision was a little easier and I hope you have managed this change well.

I'll be gutted when my times comes as I loved cars and driving all my life.

Good luck going forward.
Click to expand...
It was December so not quite a year but yes. Only thing is that Sue now has to drive herself to the station if she needs to go into London which, of course, means having to pay a tenner for parking
 
Traffic only gets worse as the years go by and your reactions slow down so good choice and well done for recognising the time had come.
 
A real challenge that can/will/might affect all of us eventually.

My brother had to relinquish his license due to a developing eye condition, so my SiL has do all the driving when required..

Though as they live in outer London they IIRC get completely free public transport travel.
 
well done, i am trying to convice my dad to give up at 80 absolutely rubbish driver
bumped a bus last month just rolled into it
 
Good on you Marc.
Can't be easy to give up something that so many of us take for granted. And lots of respect for doing it now instead of waiting for something to push you.
I had a motorbike accident in 1986 caused by a drunk driver and it's totally changed my life since then even though I'm still fully able bodied. Again, good on you Marc for making this decision.
 
It's a decision that every one of us will have to make at some point. Well done for making your decision before you're forced to by circumstances.

I'm now at an age where I accept that I've lost some confidence, my reactions have started to slow down, I try to avoid driving (or at least long-distance driving) in the dark and, from time to time, I can't make quick decisions about things that would have been simple in the past.

Insurance is getting more expensive with each birthday, and insurance no longer covers me to drive some of the "any qualified driver" vehicles on our farm, so I'll be limited to driving my mediocre and boring shopping trolley of a car soon :(

Fortunately, I have family and friends who won't hesitate to tell me when it's time to stop. When I do need to stop it will take away most of my independence and will stop me doing most of the things I enjoy - I don't know how to use public transport and there isn't any that services the places I want to go to, for example I can't go clay pigeon shooting or to our farm on the bus, but it's what it is.
 
OH's sister partner bought himself a new car last October - at 80! Although he hasn't had an accident he does get extremely distracted.

But since buying his new car he has been debilitated by his hip (replacement done and now in recovery) and will soon have an op on his wrist.

New car is already being reclaimed by nature.
 
Garry Edwards said:
It's a decision that every one of us will have to make at some point. Well done for making your decision before you're forced to by circumstances.

I'm now at an age where I accept that I've lost some confidence, my reactions have started to slow down, I try to avoid driving (or at least long-distance driving) in the dark and, from time to time, I can't make quick decisions about things that would have been simple in the past.

Insurance is getting more expensive with each birthday, and insurance no longer covers me to drive some of the "any qualified driver" vehicles on our farm, so I'll be limited to driving my mediocre and boring shopping trolley of a car soon :(

Fortunately, I have family and friends who won't hesitate to tell me when it's time to stop. When I do need to stop it will take away most of my independence and will stop me doing most of the things I enjoy - I don't know how to use public transport and there isn't any that services the places I want to go to, for example I can't go clay pigeon shooting or to our farm on the bus, but it's what it is.
Click to expand...
I stopped driving in the dark a number of years ago. Part of my journey to and from work was a long stretch of unlit road with barely any road markings. Heavy rain made it potentially lethal in the dark, and in the winter, I had to leave work early to avoid it.
 
A brave decision Marc - well done. :cool:

I tried to give up driving by selling my wheelchair adapted Berlingo back in January. Having to lock down and release my powerchair a minimum of four times with every trip just left me in too much pain. I'm ambulatory and can manage a few steps around the car with sticks, but it just became too much.

I got my asking price for it - double what I thought I would get, so I was well chuffed, but I only lasted a few weeks before I realised that I just can't manage without a car on this island (I live alone). Public transport is a joke and taxi prices are extortionate - that is if you can find one that will even take a wheelchair.

Anyway, I decided to buy an old estate car and just throw a manual chair in the back. The only decent one I could find was a Range Rover and having had a few in the past I decided to buy it. I'm glad I did - it's a better solution than a powerchair and car with a ramp that was always being blocked anyway.

I'm now enjoying driving again, but I know it will only be a short-lived exercise - I'll have to stop in the next few years I'm sure . . . :rolleyes:
 
Sky said:
A brave decision Marc - well done. :cool:

I tried to give up driving by selling my wheelchair adapted Berlingo back in January. Having to lock down and release my powerchair a minimum of four times with every trip just left me in too much pain. I'm ambulatory and can manage a few steps around the car with sticks, but it just became too much.

I got my asking price for it - double what I thought I would get, so I was well chuffed, but I only lasted a few weeks before I realised that I just can't manage without a car on this island (I live alone). Public transport is a joke and taxi prices are extortionate - that is if you can find one that will even take a wheelchair.

Anyway, I decided to buy an old estate car and just throw a manual chair in the back. The only decent one I could find was a Range Rover and having had a few in the past I decided to buy it. I'm glad I did - it's a better solution than a powerchair and car with a ramp that was always being blocked anyway.

I'm now enjoying driving again, but I know it will only be a short-lived exercise - I'll have to stop in the next few years I'm sure . . . :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
I do realise that I'm very lucky to be in a position to make this decision and have some to do the driving for me. Unfortunately for dad, mum never learned to drive and that was certainly a factor in delaying his decision until he was in his 80s.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Sky
Now you can have a drink when the Mrs takes you out too - bonus. (y)
 
Well done you! I've told my kids to take my keys away if they have any doubts about my driving. My elderly neighbour has dementia and parked his car next to my house the other day. One of the other neighbours saw him and leaned in through the drivers window and took the keys! It was all done amicably and the "key snatcher" parked the car back on the drive for him and gave the keys to his wife. If he had driven off, I would have been dialling 999 as he is totally unfit to walk, let alone drive.
 
Reading this thread one thing that came to me was that if cars can ever drive themselves without causing mayhem that'd help people retain more independence, it would take the joy away from people who like driving though and I hadn't considered dementia and obviously if people are mentally challenged in some way their access to self driving cars would need to be limited.
 
I'm a rare breed I think, never driven a car in my life and I'm 48! I actually don't know anyone else besides my partner and one of my siblings who have also never driven. I've always lived in the centre of town [have lived in 3 different towns to date] and public transport was always readily available, or town was well within walking or cycling distance.

Kudos for making what must have been a hard decision though, I imagine if I ever did drive it would become part of my daily routine and it would be hard to just give up.
 
Cagey75 said:
I'm a rare breed I think, never driven a car in my life and I'm 48! I actually don't know anyone else besides my partner and one of my siblings who have also never driven. I've always lived in the centre of town [have lived in 3 different towns to date] and public transport was always readily available, or town was well within walking or cycling distance.

Kudos for making what must have been a hard decision though, I imagine if I ever did drive it would become part of my daily routine and it would be hard to just give up.
Click to expand...

Even when that's the case disability or impairment can lead to public transport simply not being a viable option. This was the case for both of my parents for years before they died. I'm sure some people who can not use public transport can still drive and the loss of that could lead to increased costs and possible delays or other difficulties and isolation.
 
woof woof said:
Even when that's the case disability or impairment can lead to public transport simply not being a viable option. This was the case for both of my parents for years before they died. I'm sure some people who can not use public transport can still drive and the loss of that could lead to increased costs and possible delays or other difficulties and isolation.
Click to expand...

I do realise that, my daughter has cerebral palsy, she would love to drive but it would take a lot of adaptatiions to make it work for her. She uses public transport all the time, it has gotten so much better, for example the buses will lower down for her to board and she has a travel pass [local buses are all wheelchair accesible too] - I'm not sure how that works in the UK but people with disability here do get free travel
 
The distance to the bus stops alone here made public transport unusable for my parents and of course there's the question of how you manage any wheel chair or walking aid on and off. For many people depending on where they live and what public transport if any there is door to door may well be the only real alternative to isolation. In fact two or three times a week I provide door to door for some people. I'm dreading giving up driving.

And our next probable govt is talking about banning ICE cars? Ye Gods. What world do they live in? Well, I suppose leafy north London and they're youngish and able bodied... with a driver and/or taxi on tap.
 
As you say @Marc , a tough decision but a good one to make. A friend of my parents who I knew well when I was growing up didn't make the decision early enough. A lovely kind, intelligent and funny man one day with no warning he has some kind of "episode" when driving and he killed somebody. I can't remember if he had his license taken off him or not but I know he never drove again.
 
JonathanRyan said:
As you say @Marc , a tough decision but a good one to make. A friend of my parents who I knew well when I was growing up didn't make the decision early enough. A lovely kind, intelligent and funny man one day with no warning he has some kind of "episode" when driving and he killed somebody. I can't remember if he had his license taken off him or not but I know he never drove again.
Click to expand...
Fortunately, dad's was just a low speed fender bender. His car was 23 years old and was written off but I'd like to think that wasn't the reason he stopped driving.
 
I’m a few months short of 80 and thankfully still consider myself a good driver , but I do feel for you and know that inevitably I will face the same choice . It was heartbreaking when I had to stop roller skating a few years ago so I know how you feel .
 
Well played sir, i had to take my mums car off her a couple of years ago, she was in no fit state to drive, i was the worlds worst for a whilst but it hsd to be done i could not have lived with myself if she had hurt anyone or herself
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top