I think I would take three shots in bracketing mode, with flash, and combine them. Just make the group stand still and process the pictures in 30 sec in Lightroom. Should do the trick. Have you thought of this as an idea ?
I would borrow a Nikon D3s or a D4 and a Nikkor 70-200 2.8 lens or a Nikkor 200mm f/2, just for the one shot.
You'd be able to keep it at 125/s and f/2 iso 3200 (very clean) and then maybe lift one stop in post.
I've noticed the same exact thing, that's why I mainly shoot available light with a little addition of flash through a 20cm diffusor, to get a nice catchlight in the eyes and the yellowish background. I'm typically shooting TTL -0,7ev and I'm happy with the results..
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