Recent content by gm43uk

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told...

My psychiatrist and I had a major breakthrough today. Now he's hearing the voices too.

Why aren't nuclear bunkers just made out of plastic doll's heads? That's the only recognisable thing you ever see on the floor in a film after a nuclear bomb has gone off.

At work, a blonde notices her that cubicle mate has a thermos. She asks him what it's for, and he responds, "It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her cube mate asks, "What do you have in it?" The...

There are two statues in a park, one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, "As a reward for being so...

I went to the doctor with a bad rash on my hands. The doctor examined my hands carefully and consulted many large volumes on his shelves. Finally, he asked me: "Have you had this trouble before?" I answered: "Yes." And the doctor said: "Well, You've got it again!"

My wife found out I was cheating when she saw the letters I was hiding Now she refuses to play Scrabble with me.

Four engineers get into a car. The car won't start. The Mechanical engineer says "It's a broken starter". The Electrical engineer says "Dead battery". The Chemical engineer says "Impurities in the gasoline". The IT engineer says "Hey guys, I have an idea. How about we all get out of the car...